2011

Wow, hi guys!!! It's 30th dec already, which means, its the last day of the year tomorrow. I am so thankful to have kept a diary/organizer for 2011, it's been quite a year.

Internship to poly graduation to working at happy lemon and then to studying at SIM. I miss everything that happened and passed by so quickly, but its ok! I've jotted down incidents that were meant to be remembered and I still have them fresh in my head and heart.

And one memorable thing that happened in 2011, would have to be getting together with my best friend, WW. IM LUCKY TO BE IN LUUURVVVEE w ma best friend, lucky to have been where i have been lucky to be coooming home agaaain.

Happy to have Yuki, my ukelele too. Who knew me and tams would get the same ukelele, bought from the same shop and she named hers Lily!!!! Yuki Lily. Hehe.

A reminder to love myself more

I'm creative

I'm good at designing stuff
I'm pretty artsy, I like art
I make the prettiest cards

I make good scrambled eggs

I'm awfully good at cheering people up
I give good hugs

I can make a lovely cup of coffee
I'm a good friend/girlfriend

I'm a good daughter/sister
I'm always there for people.
I don't stifle my feelings, I wear them on my sleeves

I radiate positivity and sunshine whenevr I'm happy

and I cry whenever I feel sad

I'm good at being myself.

You know its true love when you can meet him in your pasar malam PJs and unkempt messy hair and still feel beautiful and cute.

Things I wanna do after exams:

1) Get a haircut
2) Go to a park and skate on a sunny day!

3) Karaoke party :o)
4) Christmas parties!!!!!!!!!!!!
5) Make christmas cards for people who matter
6) Clean my room
7) Cook and bake!!
8) Learn to play 'bitter heart' on the guitar

9) Have a picnic
10) Buffets

C'MON YOU CAN DO DIZZZ YANZZZZ O_______________O

Looking at my senior's facebook makes me happy! Hes so gutsy. Totally abandoned his education for now and just did whatever he wanted to do, which is to be a great magician. Saw his photo albums filled with lots of strangers' happy faces, from the young to old. I remember how he started out approaching random strangers on the train and performing magic tricks and making their days. It's nice. :)

Sk8s

WHOOO!! I bought skates! My first skating experience after 10 years was pretty exciting I must say. Getting through the rocky pavement downstairs my house and then up this slight slope to exit my condo was sure one mean feat.

The security guard uncles even helped me up the slope to the door there which I'm really grateful for, and then ZOOOM ZOOOOM ZOOOM PLOP! I fell again. Then this nice aunty got so shocked, she quickly lifted me up. So many nice people I met today!!!

Then impromptu meetup with saksa laksa! I was sooooo happpy to seeee her, even if it was just for awhile.. And then i met tamsicles for lunch today and we had ah balling in hot ginger soup in the cold weather. Twas nice.

I miss tons of people :/

The power of "I cannot"

I can do this. I CAN DO THIS

I want to stufff alll my insecurity and self consciousnesss in a bag and throw it alllllll away

Family dinner and random stuff

I love today. Today's another great weekend! Poppy brought miko back home. My poppy loves that dog to death. Sometimes it can be really annoying to hear him talk about her allllll the time, but when I see him just playing with her and scratching her belly, his face just lights up. When poppy's happy, Im just as happy too. I love playing with miko too! Shes really one of the cutest wutest thing. But she can never be ours, since she's someone else's dog...

And poppy's first attempt at cooking nasi lemak!!!! Im glad I stayed at home dinner. I could see his enthusiasm and happiness when he knew that I was staying for dinner! It was sooo yummmy and filled with tons of love!!! The runny sunny side up, fishballlls, chicken wings, omg. IT WAS SO YUMMMY!!! I love family dinner to bits.

oh! me tams and leens went to this coooool flea market! and I bought my sister a dress and she was so happy!!! and the 3 of us bought the same lipbalm of the same shade!!! I made alot of people happy today, so yep, Im happy too :)

Today I had period cramps and then I was like complaining to ww about it. And we were just talking on the phone, on and on and on and on and then he suddenly asked me to go look outside my door. It was him!!!!! He bought me tau huey, then we ate it downstairs, more like I ate it. And then we lived happily ever after :)

Hello!!

Its been awhile since I blogged. I wonder if anyone is still reading here?

I had a really good weekend! I really did. Had my very very first candlelight dinner on Friday! I can't describe how beautiful and unforgettable that experience was. The food was lovely, company was lovely, ambiance was lovely. Everything was perfect. :) And then, I watched my bf march for his commissioning parade, and it was so awesome! :)

Great weekend. more great weekends to come!

Looking at all the old photos on facebook, Im starting to miss everything! Miss jit dressing me up w random disgusting looking piece of clothing he took off from a clothes rack, miss sak's long short hair (srsly, one of her hottest hairstyle to date), and even miss...the old mad, even when I don't talk to her now.

I AM SADDDD :(

I need to get out of Singapore.

Poppy

My poppy's the best!!!!!!! He always, always, give us the best things in the world. Like today, I wanted to eat duck rice, he bought me duck drumstick rice!! It was like, the best. And two days ago, I wanted to eat chicken rice, he bought me chicken drumstick rice!! It was like, the best too.

And then we decided to go swimming together on a hot saturday afternoon at 1.00pm. Poppy hasn't swam for a reealllllyyyyyyy long while cause he was afraid chlorine might aggravate his hair loss :( But he was like, "AIYA DONT CARE, LETS GO SWIMMING!"

And off we went to the pool. As we walked, he told me that he had this crazy idea of shaving his head bald if he were to lose more hair. I thought that was a brilliant idea!!! He would look like a handsome scary loanshark. I taught him how to do flutter kicks that bei taught me the other day to lose all the tummy fat and strengthen thigh muscles. So we did flutter kicks together like idiots on the ground where kaypoh curious passerbys stared at us as they walked but we didn't care.

The pool was completely empty! It was like crystal blueeeeee, cause of the sun rays hitting the waters. I LOVED IT!!! Poppy put on his favourite diving flippers that he always wear whenever he goes to swim cause he likes to swim dolphin style, a style that he evented himself inspired by the dolphins. And then he told me, "Han, watch me ok!!!" I took a deep breath and went underwater, watching him swim happily like a dolphin. It then reminded me last time when I was a kid, where I would sit on his back and he would swim me around like I was swimming on a dolphin's back.

Today was lovely indeed. :)

Weekends

Weekends are no longer the slouchy, lazy, i-dont-even-wanna-step-out-of-the-house weekends I used to have. They are different now.

Always feasting on suuuuper gooood fooood since I'm out with the deprived army boys. Had this super set meal at ichiban sushi (hehe, very happy i brought them there) and this tallll mango ice cream sundae. DINNER AND DESSERT!!! So awesome. So complete. And heart to heart talks, lunch and playing the guitar w my boyfriend today before he booked in today at 6pm.

I really REEAaallly like my weekends now. :)

More reasons to continue working to earn $$ to spend on good food with good people. :D

My EXTREMELY special birthday ^ ^

3 awesome things I did:

1) Donated my old laptop to Aunty Carol's sons. The joy of giving!

2) Secretly went to fix my boyfee's guitar, and he was so happy!

3) Dressed up as a slytherin and went to watch the finale of harry potts!

^____^

:)

Hehehe

Average

Can't help but feel so average. But being average makes me happy and contented because at least I'm not less than average.

I'm average! ^ ^

Leaving

I must say this year feels exceptionally uncertain for me. I feel out of touch with people sometimes, OR MAYBE Im just thinking too much, and I hope its the latter.

Yanhan, move on. MOVE ON!

I felt slightly offended by my dentist today, haven't met her for more than 6 months and she's still the same. She has great skills but can be sometimes offensively straightforward? So our conversation went something like that,

Dentist: So what have you been doing! Have you been working or something like that?

Me: Uhm, yep, Im working at this bubble tea shop at ion.

Dentist: What?? Bubble tea shop?? That's useless. You should work at somewhere useful to gain some experience. Somewhere related to your field. What kind of experience can you get from a bubble tea shop??

Me: ...

Fast forward! Well, at least I have nice clean teeth now!!!!!!! :D

Nua-ing season

K, its been about 3 days since I was back from Korea and I've been rolling around the house, meeting up with people, doing un-serious stuff. I don't know whether this is healthy, but I'm currently at this "I-don't-know-what-I-am-doing-but-lets-just-see-where-time-takes-me-to" state.

Been hanging out w pris cause she's leaving for korea this sat for 38 days! Sigh, cause everybody's changing and I dont feel the same ~

Going back to work next week to take my mind off stuff! I miss aunty carol and wenz.

IMBACK!

Korea was a lovely place! It was summer, I could see the scorching sun in the sky, yet the super cooling breeze took away the heat in the afternoons. Morning and night time was like in an air-conditioned room!

The older generation korean guys are male chauvinists though. And my tour guide belongs to that category. Talking about how he used to order his wife to do all his dirty shit, and drinking and messing around with other women... He really looks like an ugly koala bear with small eyes. I didn't really like him, but I didnt let that spoil my trip!!

I love how the koreans dress!!! Its so colourful and bold and so cute. Most of them love wearing dresses with sneakers, WHICH I LOVE TOO! They can wear a green top and match it with a yellow skirt and still look so perrrfect. And I love the korean language!! Though I couldn't even understand. It sounds really sexy. Especially when those korean air stewardess blabber away on the plane, I would be like ahhhhhH~ SO SEXY PLEASE.

I love korean vegetables too!! SO FRESH AND CRISP! My tour guide was like saying koreans diet very healthy, everything also have tons of vegetables, thats why they don't sell much fruits around and fruits are expensive since the demand is low. The vegetables provide all the fiber that they need. But its so ironic, cause most koreans drink and smoke too.

I'm really surprised at my shopping stamina! We were given very little shopping time and my sister and I hor, REALLY CHIONGED LIKE SIAO. Like ZOOP ZOOOP ZOOOOP! Our eyes scanning through every shop like lightning bolt. Korea's such an awesome place to shop! SO MANY THINGS TO BUY but so little time :( In total, I spent like $325.26 on clothes, face stuff and gifts. WHOO HOO! I'm gonna be a responsible girl and pay everything back to my momma and papa.

OK I shall end this post abruptly. K uhm, bye.

EXCITED

Yay! Im going korea next sunday! Super super stoked.

Have been spending soo much quality time w friends and I loveddd it, especially w my bei bao! Cause hes enlisting soon, and my class boys too!!! And Im trying to spend more time w clari too since she's leaving for aussie reeeaalll sooon in July, CLARI ARE YOU SEEING THIS, we gotta get crazy together ok I DONT CARE.

Random thoughts that made me smile

Was just looking through my internship photos, and realized how much I missed it. It felt like a really intense and passionate relationship, and now Im just feeeling abit sore about leaving it behind. :( 20+ days of non-stop consecutive filming, crazy masssss calling to people that I developed this mental phone ringing phobia in my head...

Oh mianz, I miss Didi, Jason, Loong, Ron and Ryan the most. I miss making their days. I miss how Jason used to tell me how I make him smile every day and it would make me smile and go "awwwww Jason!!!!!" I remember how sad I felt when it was just one moreeee final day tilll shoot ended, and at the mini sleepover we had at the chalet when Loong told me that its all gonna be over in one day's time and it will prolly be our final last time to be together and we will most likely not gonna meet again...cause of the time inflexibility of their job. I miss resting my head on Didi's shoulder when we, the two little girls of the group, cabbed back home every single time after work, feeling sooooo exhausted but we always knew we had each other to rely on. I miss Ryan's epic happy expression when he found out that I found his bag! And how Ron used to steal a bite from my apple and his breath stank... K I DONT MISS THAT.

Ugh, missssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss these memoriesssssss.

Friday was yesterday and Saturday is today

Graduation is next week! Strangely, I don't feel at all excited, nor do I dread it. I just feeel like, we already left schoool like super long ago! We left the school when we left for internship, which was about 5 months ago.

Yesterday, Tam's toe nail cracked again and she told me to blog about it!!! And I shall. Omg, it was soooo freeeaaaaky just recalling that moment. She stripped over this metal flap that was suppose to be closed and it sliced through her nail and to the flesh of her toe!!! Omg, the horroor. THE HOORRRROORRR. I even had small blood stains on my dress after helping her, can you imagine how much bloood the poor toe lost?!?!? O___O Almost died. BUT YESTERDAY WAS STILLL FUN!!!!!!!!! It's always fun and happening.

In the mean time....

OK I said too early about being happy every day. I was sad yesterday, BUT THAT WAS YESTRDAY! Today I'm alright again!!! Im really really really, blessed to have so many people believing in me and feeding me with tons of lovely encouragement. I heart allll of youuuuuu. My papa and mama sayang-ed me like a kitty last night. :')

I felt so awesome staying at home practising Justin Bieb's Baby on my guitar!!!! HAHAH. Don't judge okay, I love that song. And Im gonna practise more songs w my aunt tmr!!

Sometimes you just don't get what you want. But I know I've tried my bestest! I tried. :)

I don't geddit.

If I told you that I'm hardly ever sad these days/weeks, would you believe me? It's weird how I wake up every day, my head is brimmed with optimism and happiness! Oh, I adore this feeling, this never ending feeling of happiness is soooo liberating. I even forgot how being sad is like.

I wish it would never ever end. :)

Honey, sunny, bunny

I've been so happy these few days! Met up w so many lovely people, lovely people whom I have been wanting to meet. I feel satisfied. ^ ^ I even had the chance to meet up w didi despite her busy schedule and yoga practices!! :o and I was surprised she threw a tight warm hug onto me first, because she was never a huggy kind of person. I missed too many people.

And then came social night, where I got to FINAAALLY meet my jungle buddy, weiwen. Honestly, I never liked formal dinners and mingling around with formal people, its sooo weiiiirrrd and restricted and you eat dinners of small portion and have your napkins on your lap and you have to wear a nice dressss and dresss up and its just weiiiiirrrd, cause thats what I normally don't do. But I guess it wasn't all too bad!!! In fact, it wasn't even bad at all. It was actually fun!?? it was so cute to see every guy don in this realllyyyy ultra smashing handsome suit, and they were alll waiting for their dates on the benches, or you can see guys coming out of cars and opening doors for girls, IT WAS SUCH A CUTE SIGHT!!!!!!!! And the awkwardness at every other table but our table was so filled with life and laughter, YAY for nice table mates!!!!!!! I made many nice friends, met a senior from my course and even met a long lost CCA friend!!!!

Whooooooopie!!!!!!!!

Happy Lemon

It has been 5 days working at Happy lemon!!!!!!!! Though super tiring, but Ive been super happy during work, serving customers and making people's day. It's really awesome to be part of the family so quickly, or maybe I shouldn't say too early. But whatever it is, I like what I am doing. And meeting an old good friend of mine from primary schoooool, who's working with me now at Happy Lemon!!!!! Finally got to see her after 7 years!!!!!! Days of climbing trees in our pinafores, catching grasshoppers and tiger moths and running around playing hopscotch,I love you clari airy :D

Then I couldn't be any happier when I am at home. Now whenever I am at home, I feel instantly blessed and happy. SO BLESSED AND HAPPY! Im not sure why, but maybe because of all the things that had happened in the world and a revelation that I'm still safe, my home's safe, my family's safe, my blankie's safe, allll my favourite clothes and things are still safe. Then whenever I have work in the morning, my pa would make sure he makes the bestest breakfast in the world to make sure Im welll fed like a cow and ready to go for work and when Im come home, everyone would always give me hugs. I'm happy. :)

But one day when my pa was driving the car, he was talking about the Japanese fireman fighting to save the city from the nuclear reactor. He told me that if such a catastrophe would to happen in Singapore, he would, in a heartbeat, volunteer himself. And then suddenly, tears started falling from my eyes!!!! I felt soooooooooooooo sad all of a sudden, I can't imagine just losing him. :( He told me that he would do it for us, and what he really wants now is for me, mommy and sissy to be safe and for everyone else to be safe too. I larve you papa, I know you're the greatest man in the world entire world :)

What do I do without youuuuu

I like how I keep my organizer nice and organized and so pretty and so comic-ish, I FEEL SO TALENTED AND ARTISTICALLY INCLINED.

I am wondering why I still feel nauseous whenever I think of the name Justin or when it pops in my brain randomly or when people talk about Justin Bieber and it makes me so bleargh, not that I hate Justin Bieber, I AM TOTALLY FINE WITH HIM. Why is Justin suddenly such an ugly name?!??! So slimey. I mean, slimy.

I applied for a job at Awfully Chocolate!!! I hope I get it, so I can get to wear a cute shirt. So weird, cause I never really liked chocolate, until the day when I had awfully chocolate, it was truly a life changing experience for me. So, I was inspired to work there. PLEASE CHOOOSE ME, I wannna work there! ^ ^

Right now, it's just me and the sky and my friends and my family. Tomorrow's the deadline for NTU's appraisal!!!!!! Omg, I hope my awesomely written essay and nicely written testimonials by my lecturers will touch the people's hearts at NTU.

I AM NOT DEAD!

At last, the day has come. I thought I would make some REALLY EPIC blog post and share with all of you people here, but i think i kind of lost all the words that I wanna say along the way, or I've shared with with MANY MANY people along the way as welll, people who were always there for me, or supporting me, OMG A GAZILLIONN HEARTS FOR YOUUUU

I was misunderstood, scolded, bullied....whatever bad things that you thought would never happen to me, happened. I met bad people, the mean and cold ones. But of course! I met the loveliest people I would ever meet, my crew mates. So off we went on a 21 day journey, of sleepless nights, aching thighs and arms and backs, carrying heavy things, falling down and getting brusies... we kind of all melted into a pot, like soft gooey warm melted cheese fondue, a close family!

The thing I loved best at work, is going out on shoots with this family, this family which consist of 8 older, strong, fit looking guys plus me and didi, another girl intern from NTU. We look after each other, make fun of each other, had soooooooo much fun laughing and stuffff, but also worked seriously and hard as well!! I'm gonna remember every single one of you, your names, your faces....cause you guys made this internship so memorable for me :)

Noo, this IS the 7th week

I made a mistake!! I thought last week was the 7th week. so!!! yeah!!!! this week was the 7th weeek, only 5 more to go!!!!!!!! time passes so fast, its unbelievable.

There are so many things on my mind like where I shoudl head to after internship. I wish I could go NS and have 2 more years to think HAHAHHA ok maybe not, never. But oh welll, just focusing on doing welll for internship and doing WHATEVER I can to make this production a successful one, jia you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nurul, my crazy buddy's leaving for aussie :'( Im gonna miss her so much, she's the sweetest :( i wonder who will be sitting beside me next week, heard there's gonna be another new girl!!!! we'lll seeeee......

Its the 7th week

HOW TIME FLIES!!!! The 7th week of internship is over.

The 7th week was one of the most happening weeks for me. So many things happened!!! As production is neearing, we are still int he midst of finding the PERFECT cast. I am so glad we found like 3/4 of it. We left two important roles, one shy boy and one sweet looking girl. Sounds like a really task issnt it? WELL, it isnt.

My director has the perfect vision of these two people in his mind... and so it was difficult. But thankfully, THANKFULLY!!!! We found the big boob girl!!!! YAYYY, and it's.... mad. hahahha, its so funny to associate her w that, BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH MADSY FOR HELPING OUT! It means so much to me. And bringing all the animax girls along for casting, they were such lovely people. I made more new friends!!!! :)

And then, sponsors start responding pretty well. Someone just called my HP to say that they decided to sponsor us western fooood for lunch!!! DAMN AWESOME PEOPLE :') And this stalll who decided to sponsor us makes MAGICAL CHARGRILLED CHICKEN WITH SPAGHETTI, its like the BEST WESTERN FOOD ON EARTH! And they are such a humble little stall, located at a foodcourt near my office. I just went down, had the most MAGNIFICENT dinner, then I just told the aunty that her western food was the best thing I have eaten in this week and she remembered ever since. And then, I thought of them for sponsorship and I was like just randomly asking them... And they said YES! Though only sponsoring for one day, it's definitely better than nothing! I amlooking forward to lunch on that day of filming. :) They are so sweet.

Speaking about food sponsors, Amy, Mark's friend, decided to sponsor us too!!!! For a whopping week or two. Shes so lovely. :') And she makes lovely food. So I dont have to worry so much about lunch during filming now... we cut down so much budget.

Sponsors started responding readily to me, like Converse, Esprit, STAGE, Prima Deli, Nova Furniture, Promod, Fourskin, Pastamania.... I cant be more than thankful to them. THANK YOU SO MUCH :')

And also, I have a lovely cast for this show. :) Just need two more actors......NEED TO FIND THEM. My director was so worried. Then I suddenly thought of asking on Facebook, and many people helped me so readily as welll!!!!! Then I thought of weiwen. His whole family joker one lor. His second brother decided to help me!!!!!! And he almost got the role :( But he cut his hair, so his look was changed :( :( and director didnt like that. Oh welll.... so I went to ask people on the train!!!!!!!!! and i met some lovely people, who decided to help me!!!! :D Then I asked char's friend, Benson, and he agreeed!!!! And then I aske dmy cousin, who's this shy looking cute boy, and he agreeed also!!!!

My couzzie came down today and I missed him so much! Havent seeeen him for weeeks. And he looks so cute!!!!!! I hope he gets chosen, cause I thought he was pretty natural. And hes sucha sweet boy!! He doesnt even LIKE the idea of acting but is so willing to help me out.

:)

Family

Another thing I would like to talk about is, my family. I just realize like, in year 2010, we have gotten even EVEN closer, and I am very thankful for that. I love them w alllll my heart and I am so glad to go back home, and be filled with so much warmth and love. May we be THIS CLOSE, for 2011 and many years to come :)

2011 and stuff

Omgosh, its been 5 weeks for internship!!!!!!!!! That means, 7 more weeks to go, HELLL YEAaaaaaahhhh to the chyeeeaaahhh to the fyeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

During work, I have been always in this little bubble. Im kind of numbed to the fact that, I have experienced all the bad experiences that if a tornado were to come hit my company down, I wouldn't run, I would just sit in the chair and stone. HAHAH OK tt sounds bad, but okay, I haven't been the most positive ray of sunshine, neither am I the gloomy cloud. I am like, in the middle. Sure, there are definitely nice experiences, and the bad ones? I learn stuff from them. Wow, now I sound positive! Whoo hoo!

Production's commencing in 2 week's time, and we havent confirmed the cast, some suppliers stufff...... I feel like giving up, BUT NO I SHALL NOT! My director is one tough cookie, and I have to be a tough cookie just like him. We have our differences, like how he speaks chinese so fluently, but I am getting there! And he's very last minute, and I dont like being last minute. This is gonna be a hellllava riiiiide in 2011!!!!!

Speaking about 2011, I havent really made any plans yet. I am planless little girl. One thing for sure, I do want to study. Might want to study communication studies in NTU, if they accept me!!!! Pls pls NTU accept me, I'm the bubbliest bubble of brightspark you can ever find!!!!! If you dont accept me for comm studies, I shall haunt you back NTU, to apply for Visual Comm in the school of Arts, Design and Media!!!!!

Art is something I have always wanted to do like a REALLLY long time ago. I mean, I like art!!! and design and stuffff. Even, mass comm wasnt what I wanted to do, I wanted to do creative media design in SP or like visual comm in TP, but my uncle thought the industry for design is pretty stagnant. I dont know, maybe!!!! This is the one chance thats pushing me to do something I like to do!!!! And maybe I will do it. I am just quite hesitant on producing a portfolio, SO MANY THINGS TO INCLUDE!

One thing for sure in year 2011, I am very determined to get into a local u. And I hope my determination gets me there!!!! Yeah. yeah!! :)