Don't we all have dreams?

A conversation I rmb I had with my dad


while we were watching animal planet


pa: wah i think those hosts like having alot of fun

me: do you wish you could have their job?

pa: yeah...

me: welll, i will work towards that, maybe you can see me next time on tv on animal planet, in africa or sth

pa: really? i would love to see that

me: yeah, i would love to make you see that too

"Sure, we all have things we want to change, to improve about ourselves. But underneath the flesh and bone, you are an immortal and perfect soul. Always remember that."

Your stare

Somehow I can never forget the way you look at me, I dont think you know it, cause you do it subconsciously.

Its like the time when you were sitting in front of me in class, and you would randomly turn your head around and just, stare at me, for no good reason when I asked you why. And when teacher made a joke and everyone laughed, you would always turn and see if i was laughing and you would laugh if i laughed, and if i didnt laugh you would ask me why, but the reason was obvious cause... it wasnt funny to me? Or the time when you were sitting beside me, and you stared me, with your mucus dripping down your nose cause you always had morning sinus and I would always have to give you tissue. During those times when we sat together, we hardly talked anyway, but i just know you were and still are a really good starer. And you would walk funnily and you would laugh really really loud and you were always the loud one. You were a smart boy, like, good in almost every subject and you had a really cute handwriting like a girl's.

but that night, you hardly laughed or smiled, maybe because i wasn't really a funny person or maybe, you know, we never understood each other. We grew and we changed. You have really big arms now, which remindsme of a pokemon, machoke, the one with really big arms. And you have ugly short hair, but i don't blame you, cause it wasnt your fault when you had to cut it in the army. But you were always cute and really nice teeth, I have always thought you were cute since day 1. But i kinda liked your company, even though we were silent at some points. And when you told me you have always thought i was pretty, it melted my heart. when you stared at me with your kinda stare again, I couldn't look into your eyes and you were so frustrated and said "LOOK INTO MY EYES!!!" and i laughed and you said "Ok maybe staring would be easier, stare at me." But I couldn't do it cause it would make me wannna mess up and rufffle your short bristle-ish hair and hug you and say OMG YOU ARE SOOO CUUUUUTE. And when i grow up, this will always be part of me, cause you;ve been in my life for a really long time.

To Marky, my beautiful flower

Hello Marky, I dont know whether you will ever see this, maybe you would and I just wannna say it hurts me to see you like this and I really hope you're gonna be happy again and I dont know what else I could do to make things better but just be the happy crazy marky I used to know :(

yanhan says:
ook...haha everything to you is stupid anyway

- says:
haha er no?
not you


something that made my night a little less colder :)

i feel like everything's back on track now! i no longer need to think so hard, actually i dont know why i keep thinking so hard when i already knew the answer at the back of my mind, but i guess i was in self denial. Self denial mode is crazily scary, it's self destructive and it hurts. BUT ITS OK!!! i'm happpy, settled stufff, and i feeel brand new. i feel like myself again, the weird girl, i mean, the happy weird girl!!!!

PS, its ok if you dont understand what the hell i am writing, i just wanted to say,thats all. Life with good friends is really wonderful, and blessed.

i finished toodle's first pack of 10 films alreday!!!! i heart toodle, though alot of money fly away, but i heart toodle

:X

I feeel horrible. I probably didnt even sleeep last night, kept waking up to eat lozenges then drink water than go toilet then go back to sleeep then cough then drink more water then sleeeep then go toilet ITS A CYCLE, i hate sleeeping with a bad throat cause i know i wont sleep.

and i have got sooo muchhh to dooooooooooooo wish me luck i shalll try doing something

I dont know why, but it just suddenly dawned upon me that, happinesss doesnt just fall from the sky, if you sit and wait stupidly for it to happen, you are never gonna be happy. You have to go..and..make it happen! like yeah!!!! k i know damn random

tonights gonna be awesome though i have a bad throat i dont care i am gonnna stufff myself sillly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday!

i am an evil sloth, I dont even know how to start this... CIBM project that costs 35% of the overalll grade and it's an individual project!!!! and i have to solely depend on myself and i feel lost, cause theres sooo much to do and i have no idea on how to do it. oh wellll.

but I had a really fun dayyy yesterday!!! going out and alllll, so much fun that i had a throbbing headache, you know the kind of headache i always get when i get too overly excited and i have too much fun. oh! and i bought a new camera!! used my birthday money to get it, i kinda named it and it's called toodle. i have been wanting to get that for a really long time and I DONT KNOWWW I think its really cooool. :) i feeeel like my life is complete right now, for awhile. i am realllyy looking forward to monday!!! hanging out with flower and alll, it's gonna be fun :)

OH WAIT!! I cant believe I forgot to blog that MY FINAL YEAR PROJECT IS OVER!!!!!!!!

for now... there's still a long report to write and post stupid stuff on the forum. I have been writing like a writing machine for this entire sem, writing writing writing and mooooreee writing! and then i realized i do like writing, but i dont think i can do it long term.. its really tiring and makes my brain feel empty.

and it's the final lap, FINAL LAP AFTER YOG BREAK!!! Gonna chiong like there's no tomorrow, and I am gonna be like, the number 1 tai ko student, and live up to my name of tai ko empress.

Home early

Yay! I am home early, again, I really really like days like these. It feels like a friday, but it isn't a friday. ITS A THURSDAY!

I dont know why but i am itching to get a fujifilm instax mini!!!!! but that would also mean... my savings for the past few months, HAHahha i am a bad saver i know. i mean it's sooo coooool, but my love for something like this can be short, i dont knowww and me and sak were thinking of splitting the cost and sharing the cammera hahahhahahaha, oh wellllll. and who knows I might actually really get it like tmr or sth?!!?!?!? omg the sudden feeling of wanting to buy something really badly, I havent got that for a really long time.

and I am gg shopping w my sister tmr!!! i havent really got the time to go out w her since she's such a busy busy teacher. i am missing alot of ppl right now, you guys are on my mind... <3

Today.... WE WENT TO SEE KATY PERRY!!!! at mediacorp, entertainment on 5! They showered soooo much love on her I swear, including this gigantic beautifuuuull cake someone made for her and she actually dunked the entire cake on some random boy in the audience lol. I feel sorry for that doode who spent hours and hours making it for her and in a split second, the cake was wasted and thrown on somerandom person.... BUT it was given to her and she could do anything to it I guessss!

we were given free gigantic pink sticky lollipops to wave in the air and some giant candy squishy wrapped in cellophine paper and pretty posters and we had to like wave them around like siao and screeeaaam!!!!! out of all the mediacorp visits i have been, this, is the besst BESTTT visit I ever had!!! she was such a cutie, very very cute!

then back to the boring stufff on FYP... oh welll.