What. a. day.

TODAY'S MONDAY, meaning there's schoool today. SCHOOL STARTED ALREADY. : ( I realize I am becoming more vulgar lately, I do say out a few _____ sometimes, but I try to keep my mouth shut cause I don't want to make it a habit. And although my mouth is shut, my mind is like a running commentary of all the expletives I can think of in this world. This, is how ___ed up I am feeling about school. School's becoming a chore now, I can't... really describe the emotion I'm feeling right now it's like a mixture of ____ and ____. OMG SEE WHAT I MEAN

and this new teacher in charge of our Final Year Project is like?!?!?!??! _____ed up. wah once he starts talking hor... MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE AND UGHHhhhhH@!@!#!*(@#*(!@&*@!& waste our blooody time and so slow!!!!!! MAJOR. COMMUNICATION. BARRIERRRR. I'm sorry I know you're trying so hard but... it's not working. ITS NOT WORKING and I would never believe you worked in an advertising industry before?? are you seriously kidding me??? AND I AM GONNA SEEE HIS FACE AND ANOTHER SUBSTITUTE TEACHER'S FACE WHO REMINDS ME OF DIRTY SAND TOMORROW and who makes senselesss depthless remarks. _______. What a great epic project to end our last year in schoool.

BUTTT! I larve my friends. larve them to death. <3

teeheh

K soo, I went to my internship place! I guess everything went well!!! I got the papers signed and everything.. just that I waited for 1 hour and practically stared into space just waiting for the person to be done with her meeting. O____O

But, the people were really hospitable still!!!I kinda made friends w a few interns there, but I think they will be gone by the time I go in. And now, I am just hoping wei rong can get the same internship w me then we can intern together >___< the convo w sak last night, made me think wehteer it was worth going through all these trouble just looking for an internship place, cause.. the places the school chooses wouldn't be.. that bad either right? But I feel quite stupid cause everyone knows their direction on where they want to go to, and I don't... Yeah! Maybe like wht sak said, it's fate way of helping this fickle pickle choose. Just gotta stay.. positive and bright and sunny!

it makes me happy knowing that tmr's friday, I thought today was friday. so that means... I have one more day before schoool starts which, I'm pretty much dreading it. and all the CA datelines screaming in our faces, and all the worries on what to eat for lunch come back.

Marky

Today marky was back for awhile, so he toook tam tam and I in his car as usual and we went out!!!! to jurong point!!!! I think it's very fun to have a friend who drives, but at the same time, it's quite scary as welll cause somehow along the way, we'll always get lost... BUT WE DIDNT GET LOST TODAY!!! : )

and thanks marky for the treat and lift back home : ) It's been prolly 2+ months since we last met, and it still felt the same, like how it used to be 2+ months back. aand you haveta go abck again today!!! pls take care flower : )

Somehow, I feeel sleeepy today. I am gonna sleep early today.

Thoughts

It's Sunday! And on sundays, I usually don't do anything. Today's another familiar sunday, just sitting here, thinking about stuffff. I haven't written in my spongebob orgnizer for a damn long time. I NEED TO UPDATE IT!!! and Idon't really have a splendid memory, all those dates for project meetups and hang outs...

I was thinking........ I wannna like go...drink coffee w my friends in the middle of the night and get caffeine drunk.. I think.. that would be quite awesome. and then fall asleep on someone's lap while waiting for a cab or sth.

and then I have this secret, that I secretly want to go out with YOU!!!!! I wanna I wanna skip around and do random things and laugh with you. But I dont know, I'm not very good w this... I might freak out and faint on the spot and die from a heart attack, or I might be... awkwardly boring, but will you mind WILL YOU MIND???

Justin's

Omg, I forgot to blog about this!!! I met up w my sec sch friends on sunday, before I went for camp, to celebrate justin's birthday!!!! he had to do 19 stupid things before he could get his present. it was reaaalllyyyy fuuun!!! and pris kept treating me, i think she was in a good moood, paid for my gummy pigs and my happy lemon bubble tea!!!! thank youuu thank youuuu :)

Life after camp

I still feeel like I haven't got sufficient rest. The day after camp ended, it was family day!!! We went out to have carl's junior for lunch at vivo, then kuishinbo buffet at jurong point for dinner. IT WAS MADNESSSS!!! food + yanhan = insane yanhan. eating at kuishinbo made me miss marky, even more!!! I MISS YOU MARKY!!!

Then I came back home soooo tired and allll, and fell asleeep quickly cause the next day it was... PROJECT DAY :( then woke up at like 8.30am to get ready and stufff... did project... then headed down to cityhalll to meeet the rest to chill at starbucks. (oh!!! before that amira treated me and sak to fried mars bars! thank you amira darling <3 ) YAY 30% DISCOUNT OFF MY CAFFEINE FIX, thanks to charsy : ) Java chip makes me go crazy and headachey but I still love it I don't know why???

and we talked about stufff and stuffff and then we went to pick pretty flowers for rambutan's concert, and ally belly and I named both of them, one gillian, the other emi. Concert was awwwweesoooomme, then after concert, something struck me (i think it was the caffeine thnig) and I went crazy, then we had mcdonalds for dinner and i feel awful. Awfully unhealthy. and then ally belly and I met wei liang on the way back home and he performed magic tricks for us. He was gooooooood. After he left, we had kinda like a deeep talk on the train, she talked to me about her intuition. It was intriguing and complex BUT SO TRUE!!! And I slept at 2 last night. and I dreamt that my name was changed to Nutella. and I feel mooody now, but yet so sattisfied. Well, life's like this.

Camp

I'm back from camp! Yayyyy. Though I always feeel crapppy at the aftermath, it's kinda worth it. I was a camp group leader for the first time ever, and my assistant GL was wei yi!!!! He's a super nice guy, I never really got to know him until this time... though he always bullies me i still really like him and my group's pretty awesome!!! I love most of them... , if you know what i mean, but i really do! Very very sweet people.

and I love my bunk mateeessss!!! last night saw 2 girls, tammy and I going to bathe at 2.30am in the morning, in the freaking dark, cause tammy really really reallly really wanted to bathe and nobody else wanted to cause it was so late, but we were fearless (ok maybe not fearless), cause we were holding hands and singing songs super loudly in the toilet and on the way to the toilet. DAMN FARrrr and scary :( but what to do, I can't let my sister walk in the freaking dark and bathe alone right?!?!? I realize I like holding hands alot. I kept holding charsy's and tam's hands. and I hope char's leg is better!!!! I like the idea of washing hair in the sink.

Bunk mates like ramdan, wan ting, jia le ahhhh they're super niceee i swear. jia le is SUPER SUPER CUTE!!!! she's prolly the cutest girl i have ever seen in my life so far. and ramdan super sunshine boy, whenever i seee him, he's always smiling and making me laugh, he makes me smile. :) and other nice people who slogged through this camp altogether where everyone took care of each other. I finally got to talk to selene!!!!! i misss her so much from last camp.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTTT, everyone stayed back up late just for her and got her a cake, that lucky lucky girl. <3 I reallly like this girl too, one of the sweetest girls I know. :)

I got to lie on this giant slide and loookat the stars at 10pm, they were sooo niiice. though i am a GL, i didnt really get to know the juniors still. but hey it's alright, i still got to meet and know nice people alot better. sorry this post not according to specific order, but in really random bits, but you know what i mean!!! :)

I don't like it when people don't take me seriously. Especially when I do take them seriously, and respect them and try my hardest to be friendly and all.

My hair has never felt soo good before. I have been following my sister's hair regime. Apple cidar rinse once a week, and marshmallow shampoo bar! My hair smells like.. my blankie.

Wah, I really dont know what to blog. K so I secured my internship at my aunt's friend's production company, called Moving Visuals. But somehow, I feel like they're not taking me seriously, or maybe I am thinking too much? I tried calling them yesterday to ask for more information, but like the person in charge is forever busy and I called them 3 times and that person is always not freeee : ( But oh welll.

I feel that recently, I just don't have much thoughts in my mind. Like, it's really hollow and I don't feel smart.

Ok. so. it was a bad decision to stay at home today. BUT Ok, I had a choice. Go for a pointless lesson with some boring guest lecturer or stay at home. I rather stay at home. AND SOOO!!! I did. hahahha, and it was laaaame cause I went swimming and it was drizzling and it was rainy and colld... I know wth was i thinking?!?!?!?

but whatever la, I hope i became slightly fitter ?

Welll, I've always been secretly thinking. How do you keep that smile going when you know deep inside you, everything is crumbling down and there's no one left for you, except for yourself?

You know we're all watching you, fake that front, and we're on the other hand, faking a front in front of you.

How much longer can you go on? Somehow, no one really cares. They just want to watch you fall. We've never been close. This, is the most superficial and sad thing I have ever seen.

Even though we may not be very close now, but you know I still love you?

:(

I dreamt that my.. pa died last night. Omg, I cried so much so much in my dream, that when I woke up, my eyes hurt but there were no tears.

The minute I woke up, I quickly ran into my parents' room to see if he was there, only mommy was sleeping soundly, he wasn't there. Tears started REALLY brimming my eyes, and I started to panic. then I smelt coffee.

Slowly, I tip toed to the kitchen cause I didn't want him to see me and know that I am awake, he was there! Making breakfast for everyone, as usual, like any other day. Oh shit, as I am typing this, tears are streaming down my cheeks. It was a really really heartbreaking nightmare, I never ever want to lose my pa. Never ever. Really scared the shit out of me. :'(

Our secret plan

conversing w jit on microsoft word hhahah


We celebrating where?

I was thinking of in the train

Like a random RANDOM one

U cant light cake wawd

Uhm, maybe I leave first

Thenn

I take the train to clementi

Then wait for someone to cue me that the next train theya re in

Then I hop on to it

Then BY SURPRISE!! I will seee everyone

I will get everything done… by then

Maybe someone can go with me first

But then shd celebratw with the class 1st wad

Wei rong they all wanna come also

Like tag along

Had QUIZNOsss for lunch today. After eating that, I realize how much subway sucks. this is goooooooooooooooooooooooood. (Y) and I realize I am pretty goood with surprises today!!!! happee birthday my baby : )

Final year project is pretty screwed. Screwed project managed by stupid old saggy whiney demanding people, screwed project which our module coordinator just abandoned us today and left for her family problems instead (and I understand but still inevitably sad), screwed project which is making ALL OF US feel so unmotivated, and hopeless. I don't even feel a sense of optimism in this at all. : ( I really hope our batch of juniors don't have to go through this shit that all of us are going through now.

My father has something against those stupid old saggy whiney demanding lecturers and staff in my school. I have too. you guys suck. Nobody likes you alll. It's so terribly sad : (

Alot of stuff were running through my mind. And yeah, I think I miss hanging out with you (you read this space) too! If only everything was like last time.. :/ I realize I stopped making time for people, and start coming up with excuses not to meet people, and it's deadly. Somehow, I like to be alone now and I like to stay at home alot, like watching tv and staring into space or the sky. Somehow I feel like I have lost a part of me, but I'm still me. you know what i mean?!?? Hopefully it's gonna be a passing phase...

and I made oreo cheesecake w my sista last night! IT IS DELISH!!!!!!!!! and my sista is in this crazy korean moood. Omg, she has caught it. SHE HAS CAUGHT THE KOREAN BUG.

It was friday night and I went to ww's house cause he wanted to watch 500 days of summer. His youngest brother took a pillow and rested his head on my lap while I brushed his soft hair. It was a good, tiring friday night. Nice enough to end off the week. : )

SO muchhh things to doooo, and yet I am not doing them. The only days I look forward to are tuesdays and fridays cause there's only one class for those days. But I lovee friday the most, I love radio classes man!!!! seriously. hanging out int he studio and recording sounds and scripts and stufff, and I love the radio class people.

oh!! and I'm in campus radio now and the YOG volunteer thingy!! I am really really quite psyched. I am gonna make year 3 really really really really REALLY epic

I am super hungry now cause I didn't eat my dinner! and no I am no trying to lose weight, I was just fulllll from all the tako yaki and yaki soba... OMG I CANT GET ENOUGH OF JAPANESE FOOD AND JUST... FOOD, really. I am getting a headache from my hunger but I don't really want to eat stuff now cause yeah I just.. don't.

I was suppose to make cute oreo cheesecake cupcakes tonight BUT NOOO, didn't buy enough cream cheese. : ( DARNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!@#)(@*(!#*!@

School's beeen good and busy! I feel alot smarter these days. I don't really know why. I don't normally feel smart. I feel normal. BUT YA. feeling smart is good.