1 week down, 11 more to go

When my father said work is gonna be like a jungle, he wasn't kidding. Ahhh, must start this post with a wise metaphor. Even working at FOX was pretty ok, cause i never really had a chance to interact alot with my colleagues, i satisfy my socializing cravings by talking to customers and yada yada. Now, I am stuck in an office, with really intimidating people. And if you don't talk, no one's gonna talk to you. Even if you talk, it doesnt guarantee you that the person wants to talk to you.

It was my first day on Monday and there were two ways I could approach this matter:

1) Act like a overly friendly moron

2) Act like I don't give a f***

AND OF COURSEEE, if you know me, I would be 1) Act like a overly friendly moron. Apparently, office people dont like overly friendly morons, they think we are... morons. Overly friendly morons to them are like, childish people. I mean they would think we are seriously desperate for people's attention, BUT I REALLY WAS!!!! And I would come to that later. What about number 2? Of course you wouldnt want to act like you don't give a f***, who would WANT to talk to you if you pretend nobody in the office existed and you dont socialize?!?! You're gonna be a bloody outcast. Then after one week at work, I have finally evolved into something like,

3) I'm a really coooool and chillll person who looks like I don't give a f*** but I am still really friendly

I can't ignore this overly friendly characteristic in me, I REALLY CANT. It's like, sewn in me, its part of me. SO sometimes, I still get overly excited over stupid things like when I am with my friends like for example, I had an extra fishcake the uncle gave me in my yong tau foo yesterday and I shrieked OUT LOUD unconsciously "YAYY THE UNCLE GAVE ME ONE FREE FISHCAKE!!!!!!" and the evil dutch guy (i will come to him in a bit) glared at me and said "How charming" and I was like oh shit. OK CONTROL YOURSELF YANHAN get a grip. Or like the other time when they asked, "So where shall we eat for lunch?" AND I HADD TO SAY "Oh! What about ION orchard's takoyaki??? :D" And they ignored me :(

There're alot of coffee shops around my area, and its soo bloooody hot i swear, but theres alot of good foood. Oh, I know some nice people int he company would ask you out for lunch since you are a FRESH new person here to make you feel welcomed, but I never got asked out for lunch until like thursday. YES THURSDAY. I wasn't really asked out either, it was just so that this nice boy called Benson asked me to tag along with this two other colleagues, I would think the two other colleagues were still uncomfrotable with me, and so, I was uncomfortable with them as well. But no la, I didnt eat alone either for the past few days before Thursday. I ate with the other intern, Marcus, cause hes always soo bussyyy but I would wait for him still, cause he's one of the nicest people around in the office.

I work in a production company, so naturally EVERYONE is always busy. I broke down on Tuesday and cried on the phone w Sak I remember. It was a cold rainy day, and everything inside me just crumbled. Wassit so difficult to just get someone to just TALK TO ME??? I feel very choked inside when I feel invisible and when I am so friendly myself. Its so difficult :( And then I realized, everyone's too busy to talk to me. As I was a new comer, I hardly have any work to do. But I have work now. Then on Thursday, I began to take things in my stride and tried to accept the fact that people wouldnt warm up to me as quickly as I would to them. Then I slowly talked to people, making random comments... things are getting less and less tense and I am slowly becoming... a really really cool person inside me. I must tame the overly excited jumping bunny inside me, and that I would unleash the overly excited jumping bunny when I see my friends, MUST CONTROL YOURSELF HAN.

The evil dutch guy (EDG)was a tough nut to crack. He made me feel so horrible. If I have explained this story to you, you can jump on to the next part cause I have explained this a gazillion times. EDG is half dutch and half chinese. Marcus is under him, so EDG would always come over to his place and talk to him about things and as our place was smalll.... I COULD SERIOUSLY feeel his intimidating presence. And why is EDG so intimidating???

1) He's seriously very cute. When I first saw him i was like "Eeep!!!" in my heart

2) He has a low booming voice

3) He has an ang moh accent

4) Hes very very very tall

I get super scared and shy when a cute guy is around. And yes, there are quite a few in the office, but no one hangs around the intern square as much as EDG as Marcus is working under him. and hes like 30 years old but crazily young at heart. He does stupid things, and makes fun of you when hes comfortable with you. He makes fun of everrryone in the company cept for me, and I feel left out. WTF I KNOW, FEELING LEFT OUT CAUSE SOMEBODY DOESNT PLAY WITH YOU???? Of cause I felt left out, cause everyone int he office was having fun playing around with EDG, and I wasnt having fun just watching people have fun. I want to HAVE FUN TOO. and he just wouldnt talk to me. Then I was like, ok fiiine, yanhan, he would never talk to you, dont even think about it. UNTIL YESTERDAY

Almost everyone in the office was going for lunch at a restaurant. Actually, it was originally meant for a production crew who did a production together, in the end, end up ALLL the big shots, producers, directors, creative directors everyone went, when they werent suppose to, cause it was meant for people for that particular production team.

Marcus was suppose to go, though he felt really bad for wanting to leave me alone in the office to eat lunch alone (aww hes seriously a nice guy!!! seriously), then he left with them. And I was alone in the office, playing with the computer. THEN MARCUS CAME BACK!!!! He was like "ahhh so awkward, and later got things to do also" THEN YAYY!! I needn't eat lunch alone! Then after that, Benson and the two other colleagues also didnt go cause they felt awkward. So how? WE WENT FOR LUNCH TOGETHER AGAIN.

Then after that Marcus got a call. EDG WANTS TO JOIN US TOO. In my mind I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo, hes so evil I dont even want to eat with him (actually he isnt very evil, I just like to call him that). But whatever, he came so yep. It wasnt that bad, got to talk to him abit though still awkward. Cause he asked awkward questions like, "Whats your primary school? Whats your secondary school? Whats your current school? Whats your age?" Oh gawd, awkward short questions.

After lunch, I went back to the office and it was still lunch time so I was still fidddling around with the computer going on twitter, to tweet about my lunch but before I could click the TWEET button EDG wanted to borrow my computer and I was like uhm ok, cause I thought it was for some urgent matter. BUT IT WASNT. He hovered over my twitter account AND CLICKED ON IT AND I TWEETED HALFWAY SAYING "HAHAH I cant believe I went for lunch with the evil dutch guy..." and MY VERY FIRST INSTINCT WAS TO??? USE MY HANDS TO COVER THE MONITOR SCREEN. He was like fighting with my hands and saying "LEMME SEE IT LEMMME SEEE IT" and I was like OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Then yep, he saw it

"HAHAH I cant believe I went for lunch with the evil dutch guy.... What the fuck, so I am the evil dutch guy???? " as he said that, he continued adding on and said, "but hes soo hot" and he tweeted it!!! And he tweeted a couple more saying that hes hot and that I am in love with him. -.- But yeahhh i guessss, this broke the ice for both of us! How strange to break the awkwardness between the two of us. BUT YEP ITS BROKEN.

And I have said so many awful awkward things earlier on, but I want to say the good things. I have got so many people looking after me.

1) Sam

My ultimate sister in the office.Shes my coursemate and a senior of mine who worked there full time after her internship there. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR HER, I wouldnt know what to do without her around. Shes so lovely :) Though I get lost sometimes when shes not around the office when she out for shoot :(

2) Kino

Sam's good friend, whos looking after me too! She helps me alot and ALWAYS helps me whenever I need help. She even gave me a cute companion, a little cute toy, which she blu tacked it on the desk.

3) MARCUS!!!

My another intern companion, we are the only two interns, just that I am more lost and I came in much later than he did. Hes really awsome :) though he very indie, if you know what i mean

4) Chiu Ming

The producer I am under. SHES SO LOVELY!!!! I am so glad to be under the chiense department, so so thankful. I cant be more thankful cause I have her around. :)

5) Sook

she looks after all the production assistants in the office and that includes me, and she helps me also whenever I need help

6) Benson

a really cute boy who likes doraemon too!!!! i really like him :) and he helps me too!!!!

And the rest ofthe people who would smile at me whenever I am at my desk, Thank you. Even the cleaner aunty in the morning, THANK YOU for making the toilet so cleanand wonderful. :)

I would still love to think alll of them are awesome till the end of internship stilll.

AND OF COURSE MY LOVELY 01 CLASSMATES, couldnt have gone through this gruelling first week if not for alll of your encouragement. Thank goodness for twitter. Twitter is awesome for updates from all of you. CANT WAIT TO MEET MY CLASSMATES NEXT WEEEK AGAIN!!! We had such an awesome time yesterday :'D Miss yall like crazy.

WAH SIA SO LONG THIS POST, ok byebye

All good things must come to an end

Yep, so the time i dread the most HAS COME. It's the end of schoool and the staart of something new- Internship

I have tons of things I want to say, but I think they have already been said. I have never ever regretted getting a raw score L1R5 of 17, and not making it into Junior College cause I am not smart enough. In secondary school, I've always felt I was stupid, not getting good grades and all when everyone else was... but in SP, i've always felt smart in my own ways, that I am actually... talented? Everyone there was talented too, creative, always full of ideas and we did things fearlessly.

And I have made so many dear friends there! The entire DMC family has been like a family, and we still are, im gonna rmb each and everyone of those 100 faces out there. I wouldnt exchange all these memories for anything else. We are going to have class outings, feast on buffets, eat takoyaki and drink happpy lemon and walk through those shops at ion and try on shoes and clothes... its gonna be like the old days. Just that we arent classmates anymore, we are still awesome friends!!!!!

To be honest, I have been feeeling like CRAP these few days, the thought of not going to school and meeting these people actually makes me CRY!

FIRST DAY OF WORK TMR GUYS!!!! All the best and I love you guys from the bottom of my heart.

Why is the world so stingy?

Stupid chicken rice uncle who gives me chicken rice less than its worth of $3, then when I add char shao and I pay $3.50, he slabs me some measely pathetic amount and it makes me upset. I always give him chance and buy chicken with additional char shao, and see whether he will give me extra char shao if I say "Hello! I want white chicken with char shao" in my sweetest voice, and with a wide big smile. I think he's blind and he's deaf, he never seems to look at me, only concentrates on chopping the chicken. But nevermind, I give him chance.

"3.50 please." He says

"THANK YOU!!" I say. Never say thank you back. Knn. NEVERMIND, I give you chance, maybe you will smile back one day to me and say thank you, MAYBE. But like hello, you're the one who's suppose to say thank you!!! But nevermind, I always say thank you, I'm a courteous girl. I always smile, cause I'm a nice girl. Then when I reach home, open the packet. Knn. Its the same pathetic amount of foood, I always eat like a cow. I dont get myself sometimes, I dont like that store I still go buy, BUT WHY?!?? I WANT TO GIVE THE WORLD A CHANCE. A chance to redeem itself, a chance to be nice to people.... just a chance to change and make this world a better place. Omg, I must be out of my mind.

It's true. Its sad. Why everyone so stingy??? Will it kill you to make someone happy in return? Issit so hard? It's not. I hate customer service, I HATE the people in customer service. All rubbish. All bulllshit. Damn angry cause some of these people dont deserve to be in customer service, they are in it because they want to earn money....and serve customers with the worst freaking attitude. No smiles, no thank yous..... SO HORRIBLE. I hate people who are rude, they are like mean. I dont like mean people. no one likes mean people. They must be people with no friends.

Then there's another experiment I did. Everytime I go to school, I take the lift. When people press the open lift door button for me, I always say thank you! SO i decided to try opening the lift door for people one week and see if anyone says thank you. NOBODY SAID!!!!! WHY IS THE WORLD SO STINGY?!?!?! THANK YOU WILLL KILLL YOU AH?!?!?!

I feel very sad. Its just...such a sad and stingy world out there.

When all things fail..

All you really need is food, seriously.

Its my second buffet in two weeks and I'm...stuffed, spoilt and happy and...broke :( But whatever, money isnt the main concern, we can always earn money back. Wah, I talk as if i got alot of money sia..... BUT NO i dont hahahha. I'm a saver, MONEY SAVER, then i splurge eveerything on edible happinesss which feeds me happiness.

Been feeling unnecessarily stressed, and whatever my seniors said to me yesterday scared the hell out of me. But I'm gonnna havta trust myself and just..... be my cheeeery bubbly self during internship and allllll....shalll be fiiiineeeee. There's no room for second guessing, and my seniors who told me scary stuff DIDNT even work at my internship place, everything was just..... whats-heard-from-this-person-who's-working-there, they don't even know cause they never really truly experienced it themselves. But whatever! Im gonnna dooo my bestest and SHIIINEEEEE like the foil holding my favourite fruit tart.

Eating my pa's coconut-milkless curry chicken now, it's awesome, the tornado that happened in my head earlier on ceased and its settling down now. I'm at peace.

feeel like i'm rolling down hillll.....and i might hit the murky waters of the river. it's funny how i worry about my friends being upset and alll, rather than me. And how ironic it is to try my hardest to make everyone happy but make myself the saddest and pathetic living being on earth inside. Why am I crumbling inside? :(

I NEEED THE FORCES OF THE WIND to rollll me back up the hillllll

shhiiiiitttt emo juices, emo posts :'( :'(

running awway makes me feel like a coward

i feeel so small, like a tiny pea mashed up in a can of mushy peas, tucked away in the cupboard. Don't open it, i will spill

My comfort things

1. Yellow blankie

2. Sashimi

3. Pokka green tea

Basketball

The ball is in my court, I don't know what to do with it. I know I kinda wanna play with the basketball, BUT WHAT IF I LOSE? I'm bad at basketball.

Then I don't play it, I sit on the bench and watch other people. Then the wind comes and the ball starts drifting away...slowly. Then I think, welll! If I am meant to play basketball, the basketball will come back to me, I wouldn't need to play it now. I don't care about it, BUT IT KEEPS ROLLING BACK TO ME. I never wanted to play basketball cause I've always thought, I'm not good enough to play it. I pick it up and throw it into another court, but it rolls back to me, every time.

And the ball's back in my court again

School is not cool.

Omgoshhhh, this semester has been the most boring thing that has ever happpened on this planet. With only two modules and two of the most boring lecturers......SAAAVE USSSSS :( sigh.

Chunks of things in my soup

Welll, I havent blogged for a long time!!!! Im gonna blog about yesterday, about this msn convo i had with bei, it was like random and sudden, like always, like any other day, actually come to think of it, i talk to him every single day.

Just that yesterday, it was on a sudden... sad topic. We talked about bullies and being different and all, and i felt so sad,and if we were to talk about this over ice cream, i would have really bawled like siao.

Im damn mean, but whatever

lady on the phone: helloo, could you help me do a survey?

me: on what?

lady: on financial statuses

me: uhm, no

lady: why not?

me: cause i'm not interested

lady: can i get your parents to do it for me?

me: they are not at home

lady: should i call back later?

me: no you shouldnt

lady: why not?

me: they wouldnt be interested too

lady: ok, i will just call back later ok?

me: NO DONT CALL BACK



omg stupid lady

My jolly holi wolly

YAY Im back from my 3 day escapade to KLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl, i mean KL. We went there cause mommy had some free hotel accomodation. We ate alot and i enjoyed it sooo much cause I spent it w the fam!!!!!! And I love my fam. We love each other so much that all four of us slept on ONE KING SIZED bed cause we only had one room, one bed. I CANT BELIEVE WE DID THAT but yeah we did it. I felt homesick the minute I reached that place and it was weird, cause it was only 3 days and my family was there, but i reallly miissssed my beeeddddd and blankie.

Work for another 2 more weeks!!!!! I cant wait for work to end, btw im still at the ion outlet! they transferred me back, hahahha. I. CANT. WAAAAIITT

My poor couzie

Last friday night my couzie got knocked down by a taxi when he was crossing the road correectly, with the green man and all!! We only got to visit him on saturday. When we arrived, only my uncle was there cause couzie had to be sent to have his head stitched up. And we waited for at least 2 hours, but we all spent the time talking about my couzie's school problems and alll. He's a smart boy, never studied for his o levels and got a LR15 of 12, and got into tampines JC and he's reaally really good in tennis. And this year, is his A level year and its only like a few months away and this accident had to happen :(

Couzie got wheeled in from his 30 over stitches on his head. I got a shock when I saw him and tears instantly welled up my eyes. My mom, sis and grandma started crying as well. He had wounds all over him, his eyes were swelled up like eggs and his head was wrapped up, he hands were filled with deep scratches, patchy deep red. His nose was swollen and had scratches all over it as well. But the lucky thing was that his cheeks and forehead were spared from scratches. His lips suffered from deep black scratches, like the wounds were black, and he prolly got them when his teeth sunk into them during the accident.

My uncle also said couzie suffered from slight amnesia, he couldnt rmb anything of this accident and why he ended up inthe hospital. He looked so scared, i could see it from his eyes cause tears were brimming his red eyes as well. Then I held his hand, it was cold and there were so many injuries on them. :( :( Poor couzie :(:( But i guess hes SUPER LUCKY, to have survived this with his brain unaffected from injuries and that he's still alive.

this holiday has been one of the most fulfilling holidays i ever had!!! cause of work partially and just hanging out with the people i love. I feel like i'm secretly blessed. Like how I was suppose to be working for topshop and plans were changed and i was made to work at FOX instead. First few days of work were never easy, getting lost, communication barriers w people... but the people there were really accomodating, especially my supervisor, she say the nicest encouraging things to me and I get my breaks and get to leave work on the dot. I'm gonna miss ION orchard's FOX, no matter how much I complained and whined.

It was my last day yesterday and I finalllyy got to properly talk to my other filipino colleague, cause i was doing the night shift w him and towards the end of the day, he was giving me clothes to try on and i was playing dresss up with theclothes and he let me sneak in Happy Lemon to drink during work!!! damn awesome, gonna misss takoyaki, fishball noodles and happy lemon.

But! Im gonna work at Suntec's FOX now!!! Though I dont think I would work for long...especially when school's starting soon.

Monday

Omg, had the most awesome sleeeeeep!!!!!!!! I really think after having a baby in the family, my grandma's getting jollier by the week. I can't talk to babies very welll, my pa's very goood at it though, he makes all the sound effects like pew pew pew zooooooom. I really really like my baby cousin tooo, shes the tiniest cupcake in the family now and brings so much joy every week.

Another week's gone?!

this first weeek of holi has been eventful!! I found a job, hehe. At ion orchard's FOX, so visit whenever you can k? I dont think I will be working there every day and every minute though.

Then had like shopping w the lochnesses, karaoke, xiao long bao buffet and teeeeaaaa... and tmr surprisingly, I DONT HAVE WORK!!!! maybe i will be gg to fly kite again!!! flying kite is super fun. and i dont have work on sunday tooo!!!! Yay I can go my ah ma's house.

first day of work was pretty alright, people working there arent exactly my age group, but they are pretty friendly! and customers were pretty nice too, I havent really seeen any mean ones around. There are so many things to remember!!! But making a customer happy, makes me happy too. :)

ICE CREAM THERAPY!!

Something made me really happy today, MY ICE CREAM FIX LIKE FINALLY I GOT IT. and my pa's slurpy horfun, now i need to go for like, a buffet.

The Mighty Fighter

ANYWAY my pa got a new camera! olympus something something, has the exact same functions as tam's camera just a smaller and much different version.

and its 2 weeks left till ww flies off to Australia for his pilot training course. I'm really really excited for him cause if he passes, I AM GONNA HAVE A PILOT FRIEND!!!!!! todays kite flying was awesome, ww really is meant for flying. we named the kite the mighty fighter and we even have a theme song!! and up in the sky, it went.... till the sky went dark, but we could still see mighty fighter clinging on in the wind like a fighter.

O-O-OVERRR

Omg!!!!! SO MANY THINGS ARE FINALLY OVER THIS WEEK!!!!! Submission week was hell, but screw it, handed in PRW, FYP, Broadcast, Radio AND FINISHED MOCK PRESS CONFERENCE CA TODAY!!!!

I can't tell you how relieved I am. But projects over exams anytime, hahahahha, i like the rushing of projects and getting stressed up and depressed and wanting to cry with friends and when its over, the feeling is like glitter and confetti falling from the sky. Today's CA felt pretty real, it was like there were cameras, warm bright lights hitting on us and evil cold stares from the journalists. I almost freaked out, BUT IT WAS COOOL I GUESSS, we did goooood i hope!!!

We finally got our broadcast done, filming was a bitch and carrying equipment and alll and THANK YOU BEIII for always carrying the camera, you're a real man in my heart :) editting was even bitchier, though it was simple... something so simple, things got so complex O___O had to keep re-saving stuffff. sighhh, but edmund was in a real good mood this week so, thank goodness for that kind old soul!!!!!!! plus CDs somemore!!! he gave us CDs!!!!!awwww

And radio!!!!! radio was another slut, ughhhhhhh recording and EDITTING + COMPILING O___O I could almost die. But! It was a group effort and all of us did it together and Iam so proud to have this CA done cause we did a freaking 1 hour radio show, 1 HOUR!!!! editting and recording for a 3min CA was already *@!(#(, and we a 1 hour one this time with jingles and sound effects!!!!! damn frigging awesome.

it's our last time slogging our guts out in DMC, I'm gonna miss that feeling, so so so soooo much.

Don't we all have dreams?

A conversation I rmb I had with my dad


while we were watching animal planet


pa: wah i think those hosts like having alot of fun

me: do you wish you could have their job?

pa: yeah...

me: welll, i will work towards that, maybe you can see me next time on tv on animal planet, in africa or sth

pa: really? i would love to see that

me: yeah, i would love to make you see that too

"Sure, we all have things we want to change, to improve about ourselves. But underneath the flesh and bone, you are an immortal and perfect soul. Always remember that."

Your stare

Somehow I can never forget the way you look at me, I dont think you know it, cause you do it subconsciously.

Its like the time when you were sitting in front of me in class, and you would randomly turn your head around and just, stare at me, for no good reason when I asked you why. And when teacher made a joke and everyone laughed, you would always turn and see if i was laughing and you would laugh if i laughed, and if i didnt laugh you would ask me why, but the reason was obvious cause... it wasnt funny to me? Or the time when you were sitting beside me, and you stared me, with your mucus dripping down your nose cause you always had morning sinus and I would always have to give you tissue. During those times when we sat together, we hardly talked anyway, but i just know you were and still are a really good starer. And you would walk funnily and you would laugh really really loud and you were always the loud one. You were a smart boy, like, good in almost every subject and you had a really cute handwriting like a girl's.

but that night, you hardly laughed or smiled, maybe because i wasn't really a funny person or maybe, you know, we never understood each other. We grew and we changed. You have really big arms now, which remindsme of a pokemon, machoke, the one with really big arms. And you have ugly short hair, but i don't blame you, cause it wasnt your fault when you had to cut it in the army. But you were always cute and really nice teeth, I have always thought you were cute since day 1. But i kinda liked your company, even though we were silent at some points. And when you told me you have always thought i was pretty, it melted my heart. when you stared at me with your kinda stare again, I couldn't look into your eyes and you were so frustrated and said "LOOK INTO MY EYES!!!" and i laughed and you said "Ok maybe staring would be easier, stare at me." But I couldn't do it cause it would make me wannna mess up and rufffle your short bristle-ish hair and hug you and say OMG YOU ARE SOOO CUUUUUTE. And when i grow up, this will always be part of me, cause you;ve been in my life for a really long time.

To Marky, my beautiful flower

Hello Marky, I dont know whether you will ever see this, maybe you would and I just wannna say it hurts me to see you like this and I really hope you're gonna be happy again and I dont know what else I could do to make things better but just be the happy crazy marky I used to know :(

yanhan says:
ook...haha everything to you is stupid anyway

- says:
haha er no?
not you


something that made my night a little less colder :)

i feel like everything's back on track now! i no longer need to think so hard, actually i dont know why i keep thinking so hard when i already knew the answer at the back of my mind, but i guess i was in self denial. Self denial mode is crazily scary, it's self destructive and it hurts. BUT ITS OK!!! i'm happpy, settled stufff, and i feeel brand new. i feel like myself again, the weird girl, i mean, the happy weird girl!!!!

PS, its ok if you dont understand what the hell i am writing, i just wanted to say,thats all. Life with good friends is really wonderful, and blessed.

i finished toodle's first pack of 10 films alreday!!!! i heart toodle, though alot of money fly away, but i heart toodle

:X

I feeel horrible. I probably didnt even sleeep last night, kept waking up to eat lozenges then drink water than go toilet then go back to sleeep then cough then drink more water then sleeeep then go toilet ITS A CYCLE, i hate sleeeping with a bad throat cause i know i wont sleep.

and i have got sooo muchhh to dooooooooooooo wish me luck i shalll try doing something

I dont know why, but it just suddenly dawned upon me that, happinesss doesnt just fall from the sky, if you sit and wait stupidly for it to happen, you are never gonna be happy. You have to go..and..make it happen! like yeah!!!! k i know damn random

tonights gonna be awesome though i have a bad throat i dont care i am gonnna stufff myself sillly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday!

i am an evil sloth, I dont even know how to start this... CIBM project that costs 35% of the overalll grade and it's an individual project!!!! and i have to solely depend on myself and i feel lost, cause theres sooo much to do and i have no idea on how to do it. oh wellll.

but I had a really fun dayyy yesterday!!! going out and alllll, so much fun that i had a throbbing headache, you know the kind of headache i always get when i get too overly excited and i have too much fun. oh! and i bought a new camera!! used my birthday money to get it, i kinda named it and it's called toodle. i have been wanting to get that for a really long time and I DONT KNOWWW I think its really cooool. :) i feeeel like my life is complete right now, for awhile. i am realllyy looking forward to monday!!! hanging out with flower and alll, it's gonna be fun :)

OH WAIT!! I cant believe I forgot to blog that MY FINAL YEAR PROJECT IS OVER!!!!!!!!

for now... there's still a long report to write and post stupid stuff on the forum. I have been writing like a writing machine for this entire sem, writing writing writing and mooooreee writing! and then i realized i do like writing, but i dont think i can do it long term.. its really tiring and makes my brain feel empty.

and it's the final lap, FINAL LAP AFTER YOG BREAK!!! Gonna chiong like there's no tomorrow, and I am gonna be like, the number 1 tai ko student, and live up to my name of tai ko empress.

Home early

Yay! I am home early, again, I really really like days like these. It feels like a friday, but it isn't a friday. ITS A THURSDAY!

I dont know why but i am itching to get a fujifilm instax mini!!!!! but that would also mean... my savings for the past few months, HAHahha i am a bad saver i know. i mean it's sooo coooool, but my love for something like this can be short, i dont knowww and me and sak were thinking of splitting the cost and sharing the cammera hahahhahahaha, oh wellllll. and who knows I might actually really get it like tmr or sth?!!?!?!? omg the sudden feeling of wanting to buy something really badly, I havent got that for a really long time.

and I am gg shopping w my sister tmr!!! i havent really got the time to go out w her since she's such a busy busy teacher. i am missing alot of ppl right now, you guys are on my mind... <3

Today.... WE WENT TO SEE KATY PERRY!!!! at mediacorp, entertainment on 5! They showered soooo much love on her I swear, including this gigantic beautifuuuull cake someone made for her and she actually dunked the entire cake on some random boy in the audience lol. I feel sorry for that doode who spent hours and hours making it for her and in a split second, the cake was wasted and thrown on somerandom person.... BUT it was given to her and she could do anything to it I guessss!

we were given free gigantic pink sticky lollipops to wave in the air and some giant candy squishy wrapped in cellophine paper and pretty posters and we had to like wave them around like siao and screeeaaam!!!!! out of all the mediacorp visits i have been, this, is the besst BESTTT visit I ever had!!! she was such a cutie, very very cute!

then back to the boring stufff on FYP... oh welll.

Weird weather

Since I am home early on a friday, I shall blog. I was suppose to go town and watch inception thenn things went awry and plans got screwed up and then was still suppose to go town but THE WEATHER SO FREAKING NICE?!?!??! aiya, come home sleeeeep. AND I SLEPT FOR A GOOOD TWO HOURS!!!! under my blankie and it was the most awesomest sleep ever. but I am going later still!!! it was a good decision to go home.

The weather has been reeaaaally weird. YESTERDAY WAS SO HOT AND SUNNY and today it was raining like mad and it was sooo coooold. I dont know why but I like the rainy weather better! But yeah, this week hasnt really been a good week so I am kinda determined to end today with a good note. wah, I dont really know what to say.. BUT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT MONNNDAYYY!!!

and yesterday's test was really messed up, I TOTALLY DIDNT KNOW WHAT I WAS WRITING!!! My mind was like... O__________O aiyah whatever.

You willl always be my lovely sistaaaaa babbyyyy and I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!! even if you leave the club cause you will be signing up for membership for the next club :)




Today initially started offf bad and shakey but I made it into a happier and sunnier day!!! :) 10 tako yaki and got double stamps, DOUBLE STAMPS ON THE CARD!! Yayyy I got so many stamps on the new card i feel like i can advance anytime. and we didn't use our old card to redeem the 10 piece CAUSE WE REMEMBER YOU BEI BAO!!! We'll never ever redeem the 10 piece without you, it iwll be against our morals if we ever did.

and then had FYP.. and then!! me and lainester went to hang outt at HV and had starbucks and they remade drinks for us even though we finished half cause it was tooo sweeet so we had like one and a half cup of drinks. awwwwwww, it was a nice day. :)

I SURVIVED ANOTHER WEEK

wah so strange why last week so chillll ~ then this week is like HIOONNNNGGG already. :S rushing radio and broadcast. HANDLING QUITE OK-ISH!!!! gonna film at10am in the morning tmr, :S OMg, my achy shoulders form all the laptop carrying this week. :S

This week had been a really happening week. Just today alone, got quite alot happened already. We seen the extreme ugliness of people, which came from a balding, oily haired, short, fat lecturer. YES I AM STILLL MADDDDD just thinking about it. ok chilllllllllll. and running up and down and collecting filming equipment... and saw another kind of ugliness, which came from YET ANOTHER balding person, who is our dearest e______d. Why are bald people so angsty anal?!?!? I;ve learnt that sometimes when you say stuff to stand up for yourself or for someone, it doesn't always work.

AND THERES A FLYING COCKROACH IN MY ROOM NOW OMG WHYYYY FLYCOCKROACH SEASONNNNNNNNNNNN :(:(

i hate it when my mom's friends come over, i just don't...like it. ><

saturday plans got cancelled.. and here I am stuck at home, which is not an entirely bad thing cause I realize i have got 2 assignments to complete by this week and we're gonnna film stufff this week.. :( I havent got anything done yet, as usual...

Yesterday was pretty awesome though! we went to watch the battle of the bands and Will Submit On Monday got third place!!!!!! then went to macs w tam and went home.

theres this radio show thing that I have to churn out by friday and ALL I COULD THINK OF was, the name of the show which would be called fruit shake and the DJs will be called lychee and atapchee, which most likely i woudnt be using it cause it sounds plain retarded, i wouldnt want to listen to such a show. is this the best you can think of yanhan?!?!?! from all the time you had today?!?!??! sigh.

HOLY CRAP ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Omggg I had the most awesome birthday everrr (i say that every year) BUT I only say that cause my birthday does get better each and every year!!!!! omg....

I am still int he midst of replying my facebook wall posts... SO TIRED NOW but i am super determined to thank every single one of them cause they were so sweet to even wish me in the first place!!!! < 3 Omg, hugs hugs hugs everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

ze clique, I cant express how much LOVE I have for you guys, i know eveyr single one of you was so tired from all the projects and alll, and yet you guys still thought so welll and planned everything so detailed!!!! ok i know my english not very goood but you all love me for that. THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU i had so much fun spending my special day w you, especially just playing monopoly and letting me win on purpose sak, awww!!!!!! the card, the pretty skirt and the VIRGIN EYE BROW THREADING appointment at browhaus... I DONNO WHAT TO SAAY BUT I LOVE Y'ALLL, so much love it's OVERFLOWING!!!!!!!!!

and meeting pris the bestfriend!!!! Omggg I haddd sooo muchhhh fun just catching up w you and stufffff even though i was dead tired and you were tired from work toooo BUT I LOVE YOU I SEEE YOU AGAIN ON SAT w jus and dax. I love you guys very muchys tooooooo < 3

/EDIT EDIT!!! and I < 3 my family suuuperr uberrr muchys toooo, Omg the delicioussss secret recipe chocolate cake and AND AND!!!! chilli crab dinner!!! I LOVE YOUUuu

thank you everyone who made this silly willy girl so freaking happy today, I am overwhelmed. :)

Although we're not together w each other right now, but we're looking at the same skyyyy ~

HAHAHHAHAa just suddenly thought of something super cheeesy as I was sky watching. I hope you're doing gooood, lets talk again soon!!!

YAYY SUNDAYS!!! I have a love/hate r/s w sundays, cause on sundays I feel my bestest and then... i know on sundays when i sleep, i will wake to monday.

Today we didnt go to grandma's cause papa's not in the city, soooo... we decided to just stay at home. I didn't do much but laaze around.. I was suppose to do my CIBM project, but i kinda lost the brief... sooooo.... I HAVENT DONE MY PART!!!! which I am not even slightly bothered about it.

I watched despicable me w my sister already!!it was disappointing. :( I DONNOOO I DIDNT laugh much and its always soooo eeaaasy to make me laugh. maybe cause the trailer had all the funny parts in it and I watched the trailer and i laughed at it already. oh welll.

i am recently pretty hooked on this show called Jon and Kate plus 8!!!! i love watching little kiddies, k i just sounded like a PAEDO BUT WHATEVER!!! they just brighten up my day... with their silly laughters and smiles and stupid things that they say. and its really sad cause the parents are going through a divorce and these 8 kids are still so little!!!! its just heart breaking, i kept crying at some points. :( Yeah, thats about it, all that's on my mind right now!

Plans

I wish people would stop asking me about what I plan to do after poly, cause I really.. have no clue. Actually I do, I wannna follow the conventional route of going into a uni but somehow, the idea seems..bleeeeaak. I don't have a terrible GPA, but its not like I have a REALLLLY awesome GPA. Not a scholar, high flyer, president of a club... just an ordinary, ordinary, ORDINARY student.

Seems like I am left with these two semesters to pulll my socks up, but I am lacking motivation. Everyone around me is too, which..affects me even more. Schoool seems like a chore, my interest for something seems to come and go really quickly that..I stop liking something. The visit to Singapore Press Holdings yesterday made me feel like I have made the wrong decision again, the wrong decision of making my choice of internship too fast. I really would love to intern there, but now I am stuck with Moving Visuals. Butttt I never know, the thought of going into a really foreign place and not knowing anyone seems frightening, but exciting at the same time. I am ready to spreaaaaddd my super positive smiley happy vibes to new people and make new friends though!!! I'm looking forward to internship!!! Welll, ok, maybe it isnt so bad afteralll.

Then had a chit chat w my classmates on graduation holiday trips!!! I would loooove to go w them. I am gonna miss my class, we stuck w each other for 3 yearssss and I am reeeeeeeaaallly gonna miss every single one of them, I feel really blessed. Well, I LOVE EVERYONEEE from my cohort, they are like, the most awesome people I have met in my life so far. dead awesome.

Ppl who are still reading this blog, awwwww, I love you guys tooooooo. :)

MY ANTI SOCIAL DAYS SEEM TO BE DRIFTING AWAY!!!!! I feeel like meeting tons of people now, i misss hanging out w tons of people !!! k it's 5.13 and I am at home and not schoool, ther emust be something wrong. I LOVE DAYS LIKE THESEEEEE

A really nice thing.. to do

I went out w my pri school friends yesterday! IT WAS SUUUUUUUUUPER fun! we always have a lot of gooood laughing fun together. We had this crystal jade xiao long bao buffet and i ate 20 xiao long baos!?!?!?? and alot of other thingss... i don't know how i did that BUT I JUST DID IT. And I know I damn noob, but it was my first time eating at crystal jade!!! so embarrassing.. Hahaha. But I don't usually eat out cause i have an awesome father who cooks awesome foood, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE, PA???? : )

and then they treated me and sheryle to haagen daaz ice cream. It was kinda my first time eating haagen daaz ice cream too. Gosh, I feel like a village girl, never eaten at crystal jade and haagen daaz, but I know I am a really lucky girl cause I still got to eat them! I was soo tired on wednesday already, but meeting up w them totally didn't make me even more tired, strangely. I looove these girrlliess.

and today.. I REALLLYYYyy didn't want to come to schoool T___T But I dragged my asss outta bed and offf I went to schoooool for koid's class. AND then Public relations writing, sian to the max. and it was raining sooo heavily!! it was a mistake to wear my flippies and shorts, never knew the skyy would turn his back against me and my toes were like frozen chicken sticks. but lunch w sak was suuupperr shioook! ate at her fav. place, and wah up till now, still cant believe she paid 4.90 for that bowl of YONG TAU FOOO O____O damn those money scammmmeeerrrrrssssss. and then took a warm shower and pooof! under my blankie, with the raindrops pelting against my glass windows, soooooo shiiiooooook

Believe it or not, I still feel pretty anti-social though I don't show it. I liiike to sit at home and rolll in bed and open the fridge door when there's not alot of food I can find in there and roll around in bed and switching ont he fan and sit in front of it for 10 whole minutes. I am probably a 70% introvert and 30% extrovert? I am a true blue homey girlie!!!

What. a. day.

TODAY'S MONDAY, meaning there's schoool today. SCHOOL STARTED ALREADY. : ( I realize I am becoming more vulgar lately, I do say out a few _____ sometimes, but I try to keep my mouth shut cause I don't want to make it a habit. And although my mouth is shut, my mind is like a running commentary of all the expletives I can think of in this world. This, is how ___ed up I am feeling about school. School's becoming a chore now, I can't... really describe the emotion I'm feeling right now it's like a mixture of ____ and ____. OMG SEE WHAT I MEAN

and this new teacher in charge of our Final Year Project is like?!?!?!??! _____ed up. wah once he starts talking hor... MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE AND UGHHhhhhH@!@!#!*(@#*(!@&*@!& waste our blooody time and so slow!!!!!! MAJOR. COMMUNICATION. BARRIERRRR. I'm sorry I know you're trying so hard but... it's not working. ITS NOT WORKING and I would never believe you worked in an advertising industry before?? are you seriously kidding me??? AND I AM GONNA SEEE HIS FACE AND ANOTHER SUBSTITUTE TEACHER'S FACE WHO REMINDS ME OF DIRTY SAND TOMORROW and who makes senselesss depthless remarks. _______. What a great epic project to end our last year in schoool.

BUTTT! I larve my friends. larve them to death. <3

teeheh

K soo, I went to my internship place! I guess everything went well!!! I got the papers signed and everything.. just that I waited for 1 hour and practically stared into space just waiting for the person to be done with her meeting. O____O

But, the people were really hospitable still!!!I kinda made friends w a few interns there, but I think they will be gone by the time I go in. And now, I am just hoping wei rong can get the same internship w me then we can intern together >___< the convo w sak last night, made me think wehteer it was worth going through all these trouble just looking for an internship place, cause.. the places the school chooses wouldn't be.. that bad either right? But I feel quite stupid cause everyone knows their direction on where they want to go to, and I don't... Yeah! Maybe like wht sak said, it's fate way of helping this fickle pickle choose. Just gotta stay.. positive and bright and sunny!

it makes me happy knowing that tmr's friday, I thought today was friday. so that means... I have one more day before schoool starts which, I'm pretty much dreading it. and all the CA datelines screaming in our faces, and all the worries on what to eat for lunch come back.

Marky

Today marky was back for awhile, so he toook tam tam and I in his car as usual and we went out!!!! to jurong point!!!! I think it's very fun to have a friend who drives, but at the same time, it's quite scary as welll cause somehow along the way, we'll always get lost... BUT WE DIDNT GET LOST TODAY!!! : )

and thanks marky for the treat and lift back home : ) It's been prolly 2+ months since we last met, and it still felt the same, like how it used to be 2+ months back. aand you haveta go abck again today!!! pls take care flower : )

Somehow, I feeel sleeepy today. I am gonna sleep early today.

Thoughts

It's Sunday! And on sundays, I usually don't do anything. Today's another familiar sunday, just sitting here, thinking about stuffff. I haven't written in my spongebob orgnizer for a damn long time. I NEED TO UPDATE IT!!! and Idon't really have a splendid memory, all those dates for project meetups and hang outs...

I was thinking........ I wannna like go...drink coffee w my friends in the middle of the night and get caffeine drunk.. I think.. that would be quite awesome. and then fall asleep on someone's lap while waiting for a cab or sth.

and then I have this secret, that I secretly want to go out with YOU!!!!! I wanna I wanna skip around and do random things and laugh with you. But I dont know, I'm not very good w this... I might freak out and faint on the spot and die from a heart attack, or I might be... awkwardly boring, but will you mind WILL YOU MIND???

Justin's

Omg, I forgot to blog about this!!! I met up w my sec sch friends on sunday, before I went for camp, to celebrate justin's birthday!!!! he had to do 19 stupid things before he could get his present. it was reaaalllyyyy fuuun!!! and pris kept treating me, i think she was in a good moood, paid for my gummy pigs and my happy lemon bubble tea!!!! thank youuu thank youuuu :)

Life after camp

I still feeel like I haven't got sufficient rest. The day after camp ended, it was family day!!! We went out to have carl's junior for lunch at vivo, then kuishinbo buffet at jurong point for dinner. IT WAS MADNESSSS!!! food + yanhan = insane yanhan. eating at kuishinbo made me miss marky, even more!!! I MISS YOU MARKY!!!

Then I came back home soooo tired and allll, and fell asleeep quickly cause the next day it was... PROJECT DAY :( then woke up at like 8.30am to get ready and stufff... did project... then headed down to cityhalll to meeet the rest to chill at starbucks. (oh!!! before that amira treated me and sak to fried mars bars! thank you amira darling <3 ) YAY 30% DISCOUNT OFF MY CAFFEINE FIX, thanks to charsy : ) Java chip makes me go crazy and headachey but I still love it I don't know why???

and we talked about stufff and stuffff and then we went to pick pretty flowers for rambutan's concert, and ally belly and I named both of them, one gillian, the other emi. Concert was awwwweesoooomme, then after concert, something struck me (i think it was the caffeine thnig) and I went crazy, then we had mcdonalds for dinner and i feel awful. Awfully unhealthy. and then ally belly and I met wei liang on the way back home and he performed magic tricks for us. He was gooooooood. After he left, we had kinda like a deeep talk on the train, she talked to me about her intuition. It was intriguing and complex BUT SO TRUE!!! And I slept at 2 last night. and I dreamt that my name was changed to Nutella. and I feel mooody now, but yet so sattisfied. Well, life's like this.

Camp

I'm back from camp! Yayyyy. Though I always feeel crapppy at the aftermath, it's kinda worth it. I was a camp group leader for the first time ever, and my assistant GL was wei yi!!!! He's a super nice guy, I never really got to know him until this time... though he always bullies me i still really like him and my group's pretty awesome!!! I love most of them... , if you know what i mean, but i really do! Very very sweet people.

and I love my bunk mateeessss!!! last night saw 2 girls, tammy and I going to bathe at 2.30am in the morning, in the freaking dark, cause tammy really really reallly really wanted to bathe and nobody else wanted to cause it was so late, but we were fearless (ok maybe not fearless), cause we were holding hands and singing songs super loudly in the toilet and on the way to the toilet. DAMN FARrrr and scary :( but what to do, I can't let my sister walk in the freaking dark and bathe alone right?!?!? I realize I like holding hands alot. I kept holding charsy's and tam's hands. and I hope char's leg is better!!!! I like the idea of washing hair in the sink.

Bunk mates like ramdan, wan ting, jia le ahhhh they're super niceee i swear. jia le is SUPER SUPER CUTE!!!! she's prolly the cutest girl i have ever seen in my life so far. and ramdan super sunshine boy, whenever i seee him, he's always smiling and making me laugh, he makes me smile. :) and other nice people who slogged through this camp altogether where everyone took care of each other. I finally got to talk to selene!!!!! i misss her so much from last camp.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTTT, everyone stayed back up late just for her and got her a cake, that lucky lucky girl. <3 I reallly like this girl too, one of the sweetest girls I know. :)

I got to lie on this giant slide and loookat the stars at 10pm, they were sooo niiice. though i am a GL, i didnt really get to know the juniors still. but hey it's alright, i still got to meet and know nice people alot better. sorry this post not according to specific order, but in really random bits, but you know what i mean!!! :)

I don't like it when people don't take me seriously. Especially when I do take them seriously, and respect them and try my hardest to be friendly and all.

My hair has never felt soo good before. I have been following my sister's hair regime. Apple cidar rinse once a week, and marshmallow shampoo bar! My hair smells like.. my blankie.

Wah, I really dont know what to blog. K so I secured my internship at my aunt's friend's production company, called Moving Visuals. But somehow, I feel like they're not taking me seriously, or maybe I am thinking too much? I tried calling them yesterday to ask for more information, but like the person in charge is forever busy and I called them 3 times and that person is always not freeee : ( But oh welll.

I feel that recently, I just don't have much thoughts in my mind. Like, it's really hollow and I don't feel smart.

Ok. so. it was a bad decision to stay at home today. BUT Ok, I had a choice. Go for a pointless lesson with some boring guest lecturer or stay at home. I rather stay at home. AND SOOO!!! I did. hahahha, and it was laaaame cause I went swimming and it was drizzling and it was rainy and colld... I know wth was i thinking?!?!?!?

but whatever la, I hope i became slightly fitter ?

Welll, I've always been secretly thinking. How do you keep that smile going when you know deep inside you, everything is crumbling down and there's no one left for you, except for yourself?

You know we're all watching you, fake that front, and we're on the other hand, faking a front in front of you.

How much longer can you go on? Somehow, no one really cares. They just want to watch you fall. We've never been close. This, is the most superficial and sad thing I have ever seen.

Even though we may not be very close now, but you know I still love you?

:(

I dreamt that my.. pa died last night. Omg, I cried so much so much in my dream, that when I woke up, my eyes hurt but there were no tears.

The minute I woke up, I quickly ran into my parents' room to see if he was there, only mommy was sleeping soundly, he wasn't there. Tears started REALLY brimming my eyes, and I started to panic. then I smelt coffee.

Slowly, I tip toed to the kitchen cause I didn't want him to see me and know that I am awake, he was there! Making breakfast for everyone, as usual, like any other day. Oh shit, as I am typing this, tears are streaming down my cheeks. It was a really really heartbreaking nightmare, I never ever want to lose my pa. Never ever. Really scared the shit out of me. :'(

Our secret plan

conversing w jit on microsoft word hhahah


We celebrating where?

I was thinking of in the train

Like a random RANDOM one

U cant light cake wawd

Uhm, maybe I leave first

Thenn

I take the train to clementi

Then wait for someone to cue me that the next train theya re in

Then I hop on to it

Then BY SURPRISE!! I will seee everyone

I will get everything done… by then

Maybe someone can go with me first

But then shd celebratw with the class 1st wad

Wei rong they all wanna come also

Like tag along

Had QUIZNOsss for lunch today. After eating that, I realize how much subway sucks. this is goooooooooooooooooooooooood. (Y) and I realize I am pretty goood with surprises today!!!! happee birthday my baby : )

Final year project is pretty screwed. Screwed project managed by stupid old saggy whiney demanding people, screwed project which our module coordinator just abandoned us today and left for her family problems instead (and I understand but still inevitably sad), screwed project which is making ALL OF US feel so unmotivated, and hopeless. I don't even feel a sense of optimism in this at all. : ( I really hope our batch of juniors don't have to go through this shit that all of us are going through now.

My father has something against those stupid old saggy whiney demanding lecturers and staff in my school. I have too. you guys suck. Nobody likes you alll. It's so terribly sad : (

Alot of stuff were running through my mind. And yeah, I think I miss hanging out with you (you read this space) too! If only everything was like last time.. :/ I realize I stopped making time for people, and start coming up with excuses not to meet people, and it's deadly. Somehow, I like to be alone now and I like to stay at home alot, like watching tv and staring into space or the sky. Somehow I feel like I have lost a part of me, but I'm still me. you know what i mean?!?? Hopefully it's gonna be a passing phase...

and I made oreo cheesecake w my sista last night! IT IS DELISH!!!!!!!!! and my sista is in this crazy korean moood. Omg, she has caught it. SHE HAS CAUGHT THE KOREAN BUG.

It was friday night and I went to ww's house cause he wanted to watch 500 days of summer. His youngest brother took a pillow and rested his head on my lap while I brushed his soft hair. It was a good, tiring friday night. Nice enough to end off the week. : )

SO muchhh things to doooo, and yet I am not doing them. The only days I look forward to are tuesdays and fridays cause there's only one class for those days. But I lovee friday the most, I love radio classes man!!!! seriously. hanging out int he studio and recording sounds and scripts and stufff, and I love the radio class people.

oh!! and I'm in campus radio now and the YOG volunteer thingy!! I am really really quite psyched. I am gonna make year 3 really really really really REALLY epic

I am super hungry now cause I didn't eat my dinner! and no I am no trying to lose weight, I was just fulllll from all the tako yaki and yaki soba... OMG I CANT GET ENOUGH OF JAPANESE FOOD AND JUST... FOOD, really. I am getting a headache from my hunger but I don't really want to eat stuff now cause yeah I just.. don't.

I was suppose to make cute oreo cheesecake cupcakes tonight BUT NOOO, didn't buy enough cream cheese. : ( DARNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!@#)(@*(!#*!@

School's beeen good and busy! I feel alot smarter these days. I don't really know why. I don't normally feel smart. I feel normal. BUT YA. feeling smart is good.

I saved a snail today, I think that's the most happening thing that happened to me today

it felt strange, cause I've been mad busy for the past few days/weeks and today, was like nothing at all cause radio class was cancelled. so I stayed at home and watched lots of things and then I felt like something was wrong. oh yeah. I still have assignments!!!! ahh they can wait.

A few days ago

It's raining heavily now and the weather is super humid and it's sooo daaarrnnn hotttttt.

on wednesday, went for comperes meeting with the new juniors! then went to udders with sak, jit and messiah cause messiah's friend works there and we got 20% discount!!!! it's been a long time since i last sat down for ice cream and just.. talking. It was nice. : )

there's nothing much to talk about other days except that it was alll about school work and stuff.

and I cut my hair! and fringe.

new hair ^ ^

I talked to flower today on the phone just now!

Pitch!!

Wow.. so the final pitch is finalllyyy over. Although we didn't win, I felt like alll of us were winners! We had two teams tied in for second, and we're one of them! and we got $300, haven't really thought of how we're going to spend it.

It's so so scary to be one of the 3 presenters of your team, cause it's the feeling of not wanting to screw up so badly and there're so many important people around watching us like some top industry players, lecturers, awesome school mates and your team mates, and the spot light hitting on you where you couldn't see anyone but you know all the attention is on you. BUT I AM SO GLAD IT'S OVER NOW!!!!!! and we got to talk to people frm the industry and stufff, it was a really, really, really good experience. I felt like I was 30 years old, I just felt old and matured and grown up. It's a really weird feeling. and today I woke up, it felt like yesterday was like a dream, but it wasn't. Oh welll. it was cooooooooool. : )

Am online now, only because I'm waiting for any updated slides or anything for the presentation tmr. SO TIRED PLS!!!!! have been staying back in school almost every day for rehearsals for the final pitch and waiting for other groups.... Omg, this routine is sick.

AND ALTHOUGH EVERY DAY WAS SO DRAINING AND WHATEVER, today was the ultimate bomb. I SO TOTALLY DIDNT REGRET GOING FOR TODAY'S CONNECT EVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 THE FOOD WAS <3 <3, AND PEOPLE WERE <3 <3 AS ALWAYS. shit, I really really love my batch people toooo toooooo much. They are seriously too awesome. I love random hugs when we see each other and sudden outburst of laughter or just waving frantically at each other or shouting each other's name or giving weird names to each other. Aiyah, I LOVE THE YEAR 3s!!!!!! <3

Ok!

So, I fell sick on the first day of the week and was feeling absolutely horrendous the whole entire day.. and then!!! my uncle called to say that my aunt has delivered!!!!! it's a baby giirlll!!! and there she is over there.

after that, me and my sister went to my grandma's house to have dinner and then my dad picked us up to Thomson Medical Centre to visit my new cousin!! That place is amazing, like once you step inside the maternity ward you feel instant.. BLISS. and she was so small, like one and half loaf of bread. Her english name hasnt been decided.. but her chinese name has, hello ruixi!!!!!

Mmmmm

I had a really hearty breakfast today!!!! Like what a quote says, eat your breafast like a king, and I sure did. Had beehoon with runny egg and fishcake (runny eggs and fishcake combo!!! ), and then chee kueh (i love those oily circular thingss) and then a bowl of hot tau huey!!! ULTIMATE GREASE BOMB (cept for the tau huey) but soooo gooooood.

and then I had a hearty, hearty dinner. My ah pa whipped up some stir-fried udon with shitake mushrooms, ginger and garlic. FRIGGING HELL JUST MUSHROOMS GINGER AND GARLIC AND IT MADE ME GO CRRRAAAAZEEHH like a wild child. His current obsession is now udon, after eating some really goood udon last week from some japanese restaurant. that's how good my ah pa is.

and I am excited to eat at my grandma's tmr! I can't wait to seee what she's cooking. Her springrolls always spring me up, and the thought of sesame oil coated chicken slipping into my mouth is making me so hungry now. Oh shit. I realize I keep blogging about food and school. bear with me people!!!!

FYP

FYP PRESENTATION IS FINAAALLLYY OVERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we went home late last night, cause we were the very last team to present! and elaine's the presenter before me, and she's damnn funnny she's forever making me laugh, and during her presentation I HAD TO REALLY SINK MY FINGER NAILS into my poor hands so that I could refrain from laughing cause I was the next presenter and I didnt want to screw our entire team up like how I screwed my presentation for EOF by laughing through 3/4 of my presentation... AND I DIDNT LAUGH!!!! I felt all clammy and cold just waiting for our turn to present and my mouth was stiffened to even break into a smile. and after everything, I thought all hopes were lost... and everyone was in a pretty sian mood cause we thought we didn't do very welll...

AND TODAY WHEN I CHECKED MY EMAILLLL, I REALIZED WE'RE ONE OF THE TOP 3 TEAMS TO PRESENT THE PITCH TO OUR CLIENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh. my. gosh. I feel like I could do anything right now. (Y) OUTREACH TEAM A!!!!

I misss flower, bitch and shia labeouf. But life goes on. : (

I haven't really been updating much, just bits and scraps on how I'm feeling. But lately I've been feeling crappish. Have been staying late in school every single day, lessons which end super early in the day were only there to mislead us. Early days which you though you could go shopping, watch a movie or just go home, are actually strategically arranged in a way that we could have the rest of the day doing... FYP (a.k.a final year project). But!!! I must say I am starting to know my group mates alot better (cause half of them are from different classes) and it's not awkward now, considering how much time.. we have spent in just two weeks.

then come home, eat, watch tv and then too tired to do anything so I sleep at 10. Sounds like what a primary school kid would do right? Ok maybe not. primary school kids nowadays very happening, got a lot of life. Morning classes are dreadful, I only like tuesdays.

and I really misssss hanging out with peopleeee i loooveee.

Fooood

I really havent been watching what I eat. I just ate pizza hut with my sister again!!!!! i binge eat sometimes, and I know it's bad but the feeling of stuffing down 6 slices of pizza feels... phenomenal and then after all that, I feel good. and then.. I start to feel horrible. like now. : (

Need. to. stay. positive.

Me and sak couldn't do filming for aaron : ( and FYP presentation tmr !!!!!!!!!

I feeeel.... crappy. Yeah, that's what.. I'm feeling now.

Sorry : (

I feel like I have been super mean lately. I don't really know why.. Like really really mean!!! oh welll.

But on the other hand, I like to send happy good morning messages to random people whom i care about during my 7.30am train ride to school, and receiving their replies. hahahah.

I'm going to miss both of you, more than you know it. : ( and both of you don't know the existance of my blog.. but oh well. I REALLY REALLY AM!!!!

MARK KOH YOUR EMAILS ARE SO @!#*)(@!*#). WHY YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME CRY : (

Today, I was too harsh on a friend I love alot. I'm sorry!!!!! :(

I just mopped the floor. I hate doing house chores. I feel like cinderella, without the glass slippers, prince charming and fairy god mother.

Yesterday

So I have been feeling crappy for almost every day in the entire week but yesterday.. was SUPER EPIC FUUN!!!!!!! cause i went to weiwen's house last night! cause he's gonna enlist next monday and we wanted to meet up for the last time before he goes in soo.. yeah.

His family cheered me up into bitssss, I love everyone in there. Felt like all my troubles melted away and I didn't need to care about them then. 3/4 of the time that I was there, I spent it on my laughing my heart out cause everyone so cute there!!! watched HBO with his entire family on the couch, ate cheeesecake that he made for me, having a heart to heart talk with his mother and his younger brothers were showing me around, and looking at random old childhood things and old photo albums, with his mother snapping alot of pictures of me and I don't know why and blasting music at 11pm int he night and singing taylor swift songs.. Omg.

I'm so gonna miss you bitch, pls take care!!!

: )

Talking to my sister over dinner was the best part of the weeeeeek. I've been so preoccupied with my own thoughts, I totally forgot to share them with her. and she bought me a blueberry tart!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) and it feels good to be happy tonight.

Another Sundayyy..

So went to town yesterday to seeee sak perm her hairr and bei bao to trim his browsss!!!! sak looks super high fashion now, seriously SERIOUSLY!!!!!! it's so vintage high fashion. i screamed when i saw her, HAHAHAHH!!!!

so it's a sunday again!!! My family members have different obsessions. my dad has this obsession of cooking chicken curry on weekends, and he cooked it again this sunday, I don't know why but he thinks it isn't perfect but I think it's super super perfect already!!!! and now my mom and sis switched to watching korean dramas, instead of hong kong dramas, they really super hardcore drama fanatics. and my obsession? I don't really have one now, hahha.


sis: HAN!! QUICK, I SHOW YOU SOMETHING!!!

me: huh what??!

sis: I BOUGHT NEW SHOES!!!!!

me: WHAT NOOO YOU SO DID NOT

sis: I SO DID!!! I quickly rushed and hid it in the storeroom at a nice safe spot : )


my sister and her obsession with shoes. SHE REALLY HAS ALOT ALOT SHOES

LAST DAY OF HOLIDAY : (

my pretty momma


my handsome ah pa
























my sister and I've constipated smiles

Yesterday, went karaoke with my primary schoool kiddozz!!!!! I HAD SO SOO SOOO MUCH FUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so strange how close we're getting, though it's our 2nd meet up, i felt like I know them for yearrrssss. More outings to come :)

Today, went for ice cream therapy with an old friend. : )

and then, went for one of my dear friend's father's wake. : ( I felt really really sad, even though I don't even know her father personally.. but just seeing her so tired and sad made me cry and made me hug her so tightly I didn't want to let go. and I saw kent!!!! it's been sooo long, i misssed him and he cheered me up. Pls take care li ling!!!!! i love you so much, <3

Ugh stupid weather

Today's event was really damn fun, even though it's really screwed. I don't know how to say this.. but yeah, that's how it was. We were told to be there at 7, and we did absolutely nothing until like 8.15 all the lecturers and people in charge started finding us to tell us the super last min. changes when the event was going to start in half an hour's time and we didnt have any rehearsals before that and we were so afraid to screw up in front of so many people, but... We didn't!!! Ok we did, a little.. but everyone laughed at our mistakes, and it was all in the name of FUN. i had fun.

Came back home and swam, the weather's so crazy that the pool's water was actually LUKE WARM!!!!!! Omggg, just the way I like my soya milk to be. So I was imagining swimming in a biiiigggggg cup of lukewarm soya milk and I felt disgusted. BUT YAYY!!! I FINALLY EXERCISED!!! All the crap food I have been discreetly eating and throwing away the evidence so my mother doesn't find out. Hehehe : D

And my dear sister bought like 300g of famous amous cookies and I WONDER HOW SHE ACTUALLY FINISHED EVERYTHING until left 5 nia, in frigging 3 days?!?!??! I know that's possible, but I don't really eat.. cookies the hardcore way.

It's raining heavily now and I suddenly thought of flower. Thoughts of tidal waves crashing on his ship and everything scare me. Please be okay, flower!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. 7AM IN SCHOOL TMR. FRIIGGGING 7AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!??????????????????????????/////////

Plans cancelled and postponed todayy cause birthday girl couldnt make it : ( But it's ok!!! I needed a good rest today anyway. I really had a good rest!!!! Had time to make a birthday card and did up cue cards for tmr's event. It's been a long time since I last hosted an event.. and I'm doing it with my favourite boy. : )

I was bored so I went to look through old photo albums and I found this one with all my mom's old photos when she was a teenager. Wah, she really damn hot. and my dad was hot too. Hahahaha now also hot la. hahahahah. I like looking through my childhood photos, cause I never want to forget it. Everytime I ask my mom about her childhood, she forgot alot of things. But I want to remember mine regardless of my age, even when I am in my 40s, 50s, 60s and so on.

Another Sunday

My mom and sis are watching hong kong drama on their computers and it's damn annooyyinggg, I'm reeally starting to get annoyed by the same old actors with bad make up and canto accent, damnnn annooyyyinnngggggg@!&#(*@&!#*(&9

and my mom has been coughing damn badly, and so the house is abit sick-ish, filled with sick air. Sometimes i feel sick when I am at home. I hope everyone will become welll and energetic againn.

weather damnn humid lately, super hottttttt. And we can't really switch on the aircon cause of the sick air. So can you imagine the sick air in my house COMBO together with the bloody weather?!?!??! It's deadly.

K then, in a few mins. , bei bao is coming over my house to do script together for our tuesday event. MOMMY PLS STOP WATCHING THE HONG KONG DRAMAAA, IT'S KILLING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. : (

I felt like a really good friend yesterday. But today, I felt like a really bad daughter. I just left my mom to do grocery shopping alone, ALONE!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. : (

Goodbye, goodbye, good friend, goodbye

I can't believe I actually teared while reading mark's email to me. I REALLY AM GONNA MISS YOU FLOWER!!!!! it's so strange how we actually met and became friends, what a fascinating random phenomenon. and I actually woke up at 4 today just to send him offf with tams and we took the good ol' train. he's gonna be gone for 6 months, so yeah, I hope he will be fine. : )

so yesterday, we hung out at tam's before mark's farewell!!!!!!! wah seriously tams, your oreo cheeesecake is da bombbb I LOVE IT!!!!! we played wii and just lazed around when it was raining heavily outisde, it was really nice and warm. and mark fetched me and zach, i really have phobia taking his car. And the phobia grew even more when he fetched me home last night. WE TOOK ONE HOUR AND TEN MINS TO REACH MY HOUSE!!!!! to figure our way out from bukit batok to choa chu kang, when the train only takes like 2 stops?!?!?!??!?!? I really got damn scared, i mean both of us. HAHAHHAHAHHA BUT it was damn funny to get lost, damn funny. I am gonna miss it.

so i rushed from changi airport to schoool for SB FOP rehearsal, the people there are nice people!!! and went back home and crashed ont he bed for 3 hours and here I am. and I have to go back to school again at 7. T______T today was a long, draining, and sad day.

Met up with my primary school friends after 7 years!!! AND THE STRANGEST THING EVER was that, we weren't even awwkward with each other!!!! and all of our characters are stilll the same as we were 7 year back ago though our looks changed quite a bit! we had like endlesss things to talk, and we're even going out again next week!!!! is this like so cooool or what?!?!? and most of us have friends who are like each other's friends now, it's a really really small world. But what can I say, singapore is small!

then WHIP IT IS A GREAT MOVIE! watched it with saks today!!! WAH WE COUPLE SEATS!!! SO ROMANTIC!!!! we really thought we were going to be the only ones in the theatre, but no :/ but still very little people and i think we made the most noise anyway, hahaha. damn fuuunnn <3

Sunday

So everything ends on a Sunday, whether the week was good or not, depends on how you feel on Sunday. I don't really know what to do on Sundays and I never wanted to do anything on that day anyway. But yeah, most of the time, I feel good. Feels very serene today, the chilly weather and wrapping myself in my fav. snuggly yellow blanket.

Last week, I really had a crappy Sunday cause I had crap thoughts flooding my mind. But this week's good, though the day hasn't ended. There're somethings we've to learn to let them roll when you know nothing good is going to come out of them. No matter how much you like them or desire to have them, wellll... some things are meant to be yours and some things will never be.

friend says:
EAT THIS BITCH _|_
send this
works aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll the time
99% of the people don't reply anymore
1% of them, truly deserves to eat it

Broke because I had kuishinbo for lunch this weeek, $32
Broke because I bought this reeeaaally nice highwaisted pants, $45.90
Broke because I had 2 cups of milk tea this week, $3.80
Broke because I upsized my pon tian nooodles, $4.50
Broke because I had Mcspicy extra value meal for dinner today, $6.75
Broke because I bought identical shirts with IBS2 (it was on sale!!!!), $29.90


OMG i SPENT $122.85 THIS WEEEK. Sian.

Kkkkkk great i am broke. but I had a really good week. : )

Bliss

HAHHA I FOUND THIS AT SAK'S BLOG. Well, happiness is slowly trickling back again! THANK YOU MY LOVELY FRIENDS AND FAMILLYYY, EACH EVERY ONE OF YOUUuu who would always be there for me no matter what.

Ok, so like 3 more weeks of holidays left! and I'll be embarking on my fiinalll yearr, which sounds scary, unpredictable and saddening. It's sad because I would be leaving SP and SP is like family to me, one of the places where I met all the greatest people I would ever meet in my entire life, place with goooooood food that reminds me of home sometimes, and the greatest and coolest lecturers whom we can just talk to like friends, no stress talking to them and popping by their rooms to just chit chat and steal foood, sooo many things I've learnt and grown from them and there was never once where I felt alone or lonely in school because I've the greatest friends around me all the time. <3

And it's also sad that old lecturers are leaving and the new ones are coming, and I don't really like the idea of that, but what to do? :( The only modules I'm looking forward to next sem would be broadcast journalism and radio production, the two elective modules I'm soo blooody lucky to get into and in the same classs as IBS2 as well!!!!! damn happy. and of course, LUNCH TIMEEEEE, I LOVE LUNCH TIME and spending time during lectures thinking of what to eat every time.

K BYE : )

Went out with mark and tammy yesterday and it was pretty funnn AND SHIOOKKK. and then mark insisted to drive us back home when alll i REALLY WANNTED was to take the darn MRT homeeeeee. And we had to make rounds and rounds just because he's not very good with directions and neither were me and tammy. HAHAHHAaa it was crazy, first time sitting in a friend's car with my friend driving.

I FEEEEL GOOOOOOOODDDD ALREADAY!!!!!

It's good to let go off things sometimes. And I went shopping with old friend, szehui!!!! Omg, I misss her tooo muchhhh, had too many things to say to each other!!!! <3

I don't know why but I'm still mad angry inside, scolding all sorts of bad names I can think of describing the worst of you in my brain. And then I realized, it's not gonna help the situation at all.

Awww, thanks guys.


: )

Round round round

I'm missing all the takoyaki I ate today. Oh those crunchy round balls of happiness. I had 10!!!

Don't care already, today happy day!!! And drank our milk tea as usual. The world seemed alot brighter today, cause the happy three friends went out. and finally met MY BABY TAMMMYYYY HAHAHAHHA. I think she'll annoyed when she sees this.

It has been raining for daysssss and dayss!!!!! I don't why but I havent been in the best of moods, issit a sign that my bloody sloppish meatball companion is coming?

Yesterday I didn't go to my grandma's house cause I was sleeping all the sleep that I havent slept for the past night. But my mom packed foood fromthere!!! Like alot of foood!!! And although it wasn't hot anymore, I felt warm instantly. : )

I don't want to socialize so much anymore. I don't really want to be bubbly. I don't really want to talk to some people. I am rude sometimes. I don't really know what's with me now, but I hope this feeeling is temporary!

Boo, you whore.

I'm back from camp with a scratched throat and aching joints. Whispering talks, blankie talks and taboo had been fun. Jit tells super scary ghost stories, kns. :(

I had another great day today : )

so I was brushing my teeth just now and I took a peeep in my parent's roooom and my rooom where my sister was sleeping, they were sleeping so soundly and I realize how much I love them. :')

DOo dooo dooooo

Today was one of the best days of holidaysss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 havent had sooooo much funnnnnnnnnnnnn for a really long time.

and I just ate dinner, and the uncle cheated me of one fishball!!! ONE FISHBALLLL!!!!! I was suppose to have 4 but noooooooooo. But whatever. Today = HAPPPPPPPPYYYYYY <3

Ugh

I feel that my morning/afternoon is screwed. I don't like reporting my every single move to show that I'm such a happening person, because well, I'm not. Ugh, stupid PRICKKK. i finally found something suitable to use that word. Sometimes people really annoy the shit out of me.

Breakfast

So while we were having our prata breakfast this morning,


pa: I'M THE PRATA OF THE KING!



hahahahhahaha

Spring Clean!

Ok, I decided to clear my cabinet fullll of rubbish. ok, not rubbish. Ughhh, I hate being so sentimental cause I KEPT ALL THAT STUFFF SINCE LIKE PRI 3!!!! Do you guys do that??? I really have super ancient things.

Like the primary 2 disgusting piggybank I didn't want to throw away and ended up throwing away. and the wrapping paper of my first ever valentine's day chocolate from a boy who liked me, omg I don't even rmb keeeping that. and my autograph books I've kept.. and all the comics I drew when I was primary 5. I have plenty of series where I photocopied and sold them to my classmates for a dollar. And out of all the stufff, I ended up throwing away 1/8 of the stuff away. hahahha so much for wanting to spring clean.

I find it weird when people tell me that they're hungry. Uhm, then go get some food to eat?

: )

I am getting really uncreative with my titles. Went to pris house to play with her dog, chocolate! I just sat there stroking him for 2 long hours till he fell asleep while pris and I talked. and then went to meet aaron yesterday, I haven't seen him in the longest time!! and then went to meet ww to talk again. I have been meeting people to just... talk. But talking is nice, I like talking.

Talking to some idiot right now who's driiiving meee nutssssss but having so much fun at the same time. hahahahaha. Oh shit. 1.18 am.

Just now on the train there was this shabby looking guy with crummy dirty fingernails who smelt like a pile of soaking wet rags, sat next to me, listening to some really loud TECHNO MUSIC. UGHHHHH#@!(*#*(!@& it was so annoying that I burst out laughing! and embarrassed myself, yet again.

I hate doing house chores. : ( and my mother very smart.


me: Ma, can give me 80 dollars for the dental thing

mom: That time in DECEMBER papa gave you $800 for the wisdom tooth surgery right? then you used up only $700, so still got $100.

me: ..... *SIAN*

Tuesdays with Yanhan

Today was yet another rot-at-home day. Was supppose to go happy with cheena gang to go sing cheena songs at cheena kbox but in the end I had dental!!! Now, I'm waiting for 3.40 to come so I can go for my teeeth cleaaanning session and then jelle belle's yami yoghurt time after dinner!

What I'm doing now is watching my giant vitamin C pill fizzle in a glass of water. today's weather super hot !!!! buay ta han.

:' )

Hugh Dancy made me cry today in Adam.

I read random dusty old books I found at the back of my shelf today and great, I developed a sore eye but it'z okay now!!!

Now that's how I like to spend my first few days of holidays. Alone.

I don't really want to talk to you anymore.

I don't really care.

I really, really don't care.

That's kinda sad. :/

Irving. says:
Haha, always be proud of your achievements =)

Thanks dooode, I will see you soon-ish!!!! : )

The Art of drinking

I have always thought that men should drink black coffee with no sugar, and tea is for girlies like me. I mean, in the movies you've heard people saying, "Have some tea, my lovely lady." People don't say that sentence for nothing.

But my dad's an exception. He can drink both coffee and tea. He always have his cup of coffee ready for the morning, and after he drinks it and says, "Ok, I'll go to work now." under his coffee breath, it's like whoaaaaaa, this man's gonna work soo haaard to feed his family of four, it's sooo unbelievably manly.

And he just had this hot green tea that I made for him awhile ago and under his green tea breath he said, "Ok, I shall go iron some clothes now." and i was like whoaaaaaa. It felt like a samurai ready to embark on his next dangerous mission. It's just different.

I rmb I heard from somewhere that you would end up falling in love with a guy like your father. I think it's unbelievably true. I want a guy who can drink both coffee and tea and makes you feeel like, WOW. He's a real man.

Untitled

So my friends have gotten back their A level results and most of them did soup-er good. I'm really happy for them! Somehow, I can't stop thinking what it would have been like if I were to take their route and sit for the A levels. Would I get trashy grades? Yeah. Probably.

I rmb vividly an ex goodfriend of mine gave me perfectly sound advice that she would go find the tallest building in Singapore and jump and end her life if she had gotten my grades for O levels. But yeah, we havent been friends for the longest time since... and the more I think of it, the more motivated I get to study!!!! YEAH thank you ex friend for your super words of wisdom, which have brought me through my exams for these 2 years. I'm done with exams!!!!! For now. Cause there wouldn't be exams for my year 3, and I am not at all psyched about my final year project. i really dont like the sound of the word "green" or the colour green anymore, I'm sorry zhengyan if you see this. :(

Ohh. Crap. I dont know why I'm feeling this way. I dont knowwwwwwwwwwww

: ))

I LOVE YOU TAMMYY!!!

I really do, please good care in Cambodia you lovely kind-hearted Samaritan <3

:D :D :D

I AM OVER THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TAKO-YAKI @ ION, REDEEMED OUR 10 PIECE TAKO YAKIIIIIIII CAUSE MY CARD FULL OF CHOPS, WAH WE LOYAL FANS SIA, I HAD 9 CAUSE TAMMY GAVE ME ONE, XIE XIE TAMMY JIE. TAKO YAKI FOREVAAAAAAA. PLUS EACH-A-CUP MILK TEA. TODAY IS BLISS. <3

and shopping!!!!!!! wah funnnnn, cause jit paid me $1 to try 3 sets of clothes at river island. $1 so easy to earn can?!?!?!??!?! ok not very, cause the clothes he picked were HIDEOUS. SO HIDEOUS, they should be burned.

I had so much fun it's starting to hurt in my head. crap, that always happens when I am overly happy.

: (

I was relieved cause another paper is down!!!! and went for a good lunch with tams and we sure ate alottttttt.

But once I came home, I plunged into this deeeep black misery. It's like drinking coffee without sugar - so dark and miserable. Dark and miserable. I havent smiled since. I sure got a trash load of law to study for. GO GO GOOOOOO CLASSSMATESSSS!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

: )

My dad's back!!!! Somehow,everything seems to fall back into place again. : )

: (

I always get partially depressed whenever my dad goes overseas, and he hasn't texted mom the whole day and he usually would. I know it can't be helped but ugh, screw this feeeeeliiinnngggg. Today's just not a very happy day.